Thursday, December 20, 2007

Those Days When We Were Young

Suddenly I recalled some of those funny conversations we had in St. Mary's in the past 5 years. Time flies, those friends were here and suddenly they are all gone.

I am not trying to say that I don't have friends now. Friends now are cool but you really cannot get back those times like before.

A scene after St. John meeting.

GIRL : Have anyone saw my mother?
YOONG SIN AND ME:(in unison)Who the HELL is your mother?
GIRL :(looking bewildered): Erm....Puan Deva....
YOONG SIN AND ME:(looking EVEN more bewildered)Cheh! I thought who the hell?


I know, we are both acting very sacarstic but she doesn't have to act that the whole school knew her mum was actually Puan Deva.....Although we were both rude, but, who cares?

Another scene in class
Yoong Sin was teling a joke

KANG ZHI, YOONG LING AND ME: HAHAHA

3 seconds later after the laughter died.....

ZI QIN : hahaha....
KANG ZHI, YOONG LING, YOONG SIN AND ME: ........


Zi Qin, you reaction was so slow! Sinapse did not happen in your neuron huh?

Another one
Someone was telling a real damn funny joke

ZI QIN: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA....HAHAHA

3 seconds later

ZI QIN: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
(this time, tears started to flow from her eyes...)

MEILI: OH MY GOD!! Zi Qin is crying!!!
ZI QIN: Shut up la, Mei Li!


An incident in class
PREFECT: (BELLOWING) 5SC4, YOU ARE TOO NOISY, THIS IS THE LAST WARNING! IF YOU DON'T KEEP QUIET, YOU ARE GOING DOWN TO THE QUADRANGLE TO STAND FOR ANOTHER EXTRA 10 MINUTES!!
CLASS: (obviously not giving a damn)
PREFECT: (patience wearing thin)OKAY! THIS IS IT! TOMORROW YOU ARE GOING DOWN!
ZI QIN: really?
PREFECT: YEAH!
HWEE FERN: HOORAY!! YIPPIE!!
MEI LI: Our first time going down!! finally!!
PREFECT: ..........


I love those old good days too much.....

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Funeral

Today, a relative of mine passed away due to liver cancer.

Mum, sis and bro went for the funeral. I have a tuition class to attend, so I missed it.

It was drizzling, and made me can't help thinking....

**** 1 week ago****
He was hospitalised in Selayang Hospital. The doctor said:'terminal stage cancer, family members, please make final preparations.' He laid on the bed in an open ward, unable to move a muscle. He already gave up total hope on his life.

****6 months ago****
We visited him in his house when we got wind that he was diagnosed with cancer. He was sleeping.

****1 year ago****
We went to Port Dickson together. He was healthy then.


But now he has already left, leaving behind memories. Although I do'nt know him and his family well, I still feel terribly sorry for them.


Life is short.
Live it wisely.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Lions for Lambs

Let's put it in this way......

***START***
There are 3 people who met randomly under arranged circumstances. They are DW, Barium and Hydrogen Trioxide. DW and Barium are both guys who are equally capable and power hungry, so do Hydrogen Trioxide. She seems boring but actually she ia extremely power hungry, tough and unapproachable. Friends of DW and Barium do not really like her, because she usually keeps to herself and does not socialise much. They did not really understand her as well. Hydrogen Trioxide is a woman of substance and style. She keeps her emotions well guarded and plans her stratergy well. Nobody knew what is she thinking about and the true way she felt about things. But when she voice out, she meant it, and nobody liked it.

During the first meeting of the Fellowship, all 3 of them fought for the same power, the leader. It is not determining the real seatings, but for an event. Then, the performances of them will be evaluated and reconsidered to take upon the real order. Votes were casted and DW was elected, Barium as his assistant. Hydrogen Trioxide got a very minor responsibility. Eventhough it was only an event, but it was a great oppurtunity to show off skills and qualities. Too bad Hydrogen Trioxide did not get the chance. She kept quiet, not showing any feelings. But in her heart, anger and dissapointment poured. After the meeting, Barium spoke to her. He just wanted to make sure that everything was okay. She lied.

It was until the second meeting when 3 of them met again. With DW on the lead, he conducted the meeting. Present were the late batch of committees and the newly on-evaluation process members. DW conducted in such a way that Hydrogen Trioxide could not stand it anymore. She rose and spoke. After the meeting 3 of them plus Etandioate, the previous leader together with some met in person. Hydrogen Trioxide siezed her chance. She expressed her views and thoughts. Everyone listened. She may not be completely correct but she made her point.

Not after long Hydrogen Trioxide was throned President of a Board. She suceeded the throne of Ethandioate. (Ethandioate was the previous leader of both the Board and the Fellowship) She was very proud and happy and for once, contented. Etandioate told her that she can never receive another throne from him. She respected his choice, afterall, she have got what she wanted for so long.

One day Etandioate talked to her concerning his selection of the right person to receive his position in the Fellowship. He told Hydrogen Trioxide about how he thought about both DW and Barium. She gave him her views, being very conservative and honest. Eventhough she felt very wasted not being his consideration of receiving the position, but at least she is totally okay with it. No anger, no dissapointment. Nothing.

The final judgement was made. Everyone was gathered and names fitted for each position were written down formally. Hydrogen Trioxide was sitting in her seat, apparently not really focusing until she heard her name called. She was elected the new leader for the Fellowship. She nearly chocked. Shocked and surprised, Hydrogen Trioxide looked around the room, looking for answers. DW was elected her vice while Barium, 3 ranks lower than hers. Barium extended his hand to congratulate a very confused Hydrogen Trioxide. She looked around. DW looked extremely upset but he said that he was okay. She had to believe eventhough she don't have a clear idea what was happening all around.

After dismissing, Barium dissapeared for explainations from the Advisor. Hydrogen Trioxide waited for explanations. Barium told her everything.

The previous members of the board prefered Barium as the suceeding leader but the Advisor thought that DW is more suitable. Hence, there was war. Both sides were equally adamant to their decision. Etandioate, as the leader, have no other choice, but to peace the fight. He proposed another name, Hydrogen Trioxide. Since both of them were unable to tolerate, they both supported the idea. Then, ta-da, Hydrogen Trioxide was the new throne receiver.


Barium told Hydrogen Trioxide that she do not have to think the whole incident in a negative way. Deep down, Hydrogen Trioxide felt herself of no value. She took it as an insult.The truth hit her like a slap on her face. She received the position not because she fought for it, not because she wanted it. She received it out of a fight, a action of mankind that destroys rationality and value. Like the Chinese Proverb story, 'the fight between a stork and a clam, the fisherman who reaps the fortune'. She felt very sorry for DW. He fought and did a lot for the position, but in the end he lost it due to the intolerance between 2 sides, all out of his control. The same goes to Barium. Hydrogen Trioxide did not even wanted the position. But since coins were fallen from the sky, she pocketed them.

Hydrogen Trioxide made Barium her second assistant. She vowed to be a great and respectable leader during her time. She just wanted to prove that, she became the leader because she fitted, not because of the decision of others. Until this day, she sincerely felt that DW no longer have the same attitude towards her as before. Hydrogen Trioxide knew that all of these are a part of growing up. She have to be strong. She knew that after this, there will be responsibilities and challenges she have to face alone. She knew that she have to manage her time well and conduct herself better.

That's why she was at least respected. People will hate, talk bad, or even backstab. She don't even care. If you dare to question her authority, see how you face defeat when she prove victory and salvate success. She is better than any tarot card reader. She knew what to do before somthing starts. She knew what she would face before what she encounter. That's her strengths.

But Hydrogen Trioxide is also another human being just like anyone else. She have her emotions eventhough she do not display them. She have her fears, eventhough she do not talk about them openly. She also have weaknesses, just that happens that she is smart enough not to exhibit them so that she would not have people to use tham against her. You may know what she wants, but you will never know what she doesn't want.

***END***
The above post is based on a true story. Characters' names are changed to protect privacy.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

爱 (first time blogging in Chinese)

Love suffers long and is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

爱是恒久忍耐,又有恩慈。爱是不嫉妒。爱是不自夸。不张狂。不作害羞的事。不求自己的益处。不轻易发怒。不计算人的恶.不喜欢不义。只喜欢真理。凡事包容。凡事相信。凡事盼望。凡事忍耐。1哥林多人前书 13:4-8

你们到底懂不懂爱?
你们或许会认为我冷漠,无情,不意味爱. 事实上,不了解,不懂得,不知晓爱的,正是你们呀!
你们因为误会了爱,所以导致自己受伤害;因为错觉了爱,使自己执迷不悟的浪费了一切.
就因为花心思,时间,金钱,就叫爱吗?
就因为感觉,所以爱吗?
就因为喜欢,所以赴汤蹈火的保护一个人吗?
告诉你们,你们太天真了!

你们爱来爱去,最后也不是因为爱而收场?
你们轰轰烈烈的一场恋爱,也不是草草了事的结束?
如果这是爱,那问什么才是爱?

老土的一句:问世间情为何物?
答也老土一句,圣经里的1哥林多人前书 13:4-8.

我之所以领悟,才真正体会爱!

爱一点也不神秘.
爱处处都存在,处处都留下痕迹.
爱永不熄灭,爱值得拥有.
只要花点时间,慢慢思索,用心体会,你就能发现真爱.
爱不难寻找,因为爱就在你身边.
你们因为不成熟,所以从来没有发现它的存在.

我对爱的领悟是无私.
就因无私,所以伟大.

你们说过我很难爱上一个
我不否认.
因为我热爱的是生命.

我爱我的家人,朋友.
我了解他们,体谅他们.
当他们需要我时,我愿意陪伴他们.
当他们需要帮助是,我肯帮助他们.
我能因为他们成功,而为他们感到快乐,光荣.
我也因为他们伤心,而替他们感到难过.
我也因为他们受伤,而为他们打抱不平.
我也因为他们吃亏,而替他们感到不值得.

我爱人类.
我爱他们的人生.
所以我立志当医生
去添补他们的缺陷
去保护他们的生命
去照顾他们的福利
让人类爱惜生命,珍惜拥有
让人类消除怨恨,热爱和平

我认为,爱要大公无私.

自私自利的爱
假公济私的爱
能满足一时的欲望,
但一定不能永久

张开双眼看这世界

无所不在

就因为爱而爱
这才叫做爱.



PS: 要我爱上一个人,让我感动吧!
或许我不够成熟,所以没资格批评爱.

Tuesday, December 4, 2007

After Reading

I just finished the book I borrowed from Shin Peih. It's entitled '第八号当铺', directly translating english, 'pawnshop no.8'. I know, this book has already been on the racks since ages ago, but since I have already 'disconnected' from the world of chinese novels, I decided to give it a try.

Not bad after all.

It's a story about dealings. In pawnshop no.8, one can exchange anyhting for anything.......meaning, you can exchange your body oragns, love, luck and anyhting else for success, glory, fame, money, prosperity...... Basically it is just like this. The part gets interesting when you see how they suffer under their own choices, sacrifices.......

I learnt something....appreciation.

But after reading, I kept thinking about the pawnshop. If, if, if and only if these were true, then would I baragin something for another? Maybe success, maybe wealth, maybe fame......then I would like to sacrifice something, but what would it be? Everyhting is precious to me. Success, wealth and fame can be earned over time, unnecessary to bargain them over my life.

Would you do so if given a chance to change your life? Fast and guaranteed. But at your own risk.

Enjoy.

Monday, December 3, 2007

Farewell Party - A Success

The Farewell Party I organised ended successfully on 2nd November. A month later, I wrote this blog to express my feelings...a bit late, but better than never.

Roll of Honour
I would like to express my heartiest thanks to


Yoong Sin and Yoong Ling

a.k.a the twins,
my secretary and treasurer
my best friends......
Without them, there will be no farewell.
There will be no compliments, no success.
From the very first day I was elected the president, they have been greatly supporting me. They gave me advices when I firstly had some communication and misunderstanding problems with my members. They helped me make wise decisions, giving me honest opinions and thoughts. They helped me control and conduct my members, and also helped me solve serious problems.
Without them, I can never be a good leader.
They have been my eyes and ears. They worked hard and played their role with full responsibility. For the farewell, they did most of the work. They strained themselves physically and mentally for the success of the event. From financial planning to presents, they played an important role. They did not even had much food during the event. They helped me back up and adapt to changes during that day. They worked hard, never complaining.
How could I ever ask for more?


Eng Yap
President of Library Board 06/07
He is not easy to please, and it was no easy job being his succesor. Although he is very arrogant, proud and confident, he has a valid reason to do so. He hs been a very good example to follow. I learned loads from him. Thinking skills, courage, confidence, spontanousity...... When I faced problems (mostly concerning my members and teachers), I turned to him for advice and help. He provided me with guidelines and directions. He indirectly built my directing skills, job attitude and time management. Although I can never be as good as he is, I am still very good in my job, and the best among all on my year.
That's why I am President.


Suat Teng
for collecting money

Azman and Kalai
for being MCs. You both were the best I have ever seen.

Aik Cheong and Suresh
for being receptionists.

Shih Wei
for performing on the clarinet and flute.

Michelle, Suganthi, Mahendran and Charis
for the performance, although it didnt worked....sorry for the PA.

Cherry
for helping me on the survey and invitations. You are one of the most effective people I have ever seen.

Boon Fei
for borrowing me the player when I cannot find a laptop last minute. I knew you had a lot in mind and not in a great mood, but I still disturbed you a lot.......so sorry. And for calming me down when I was fustrated and not in an excellent mood during class.

Jun Bin
for entertaining all teachers when all the guests arrived late.

All of you who attended
who made the event a cheerful one.
who made my plan worked smoothly.
who made me so proud of my librarians.
who made me appreciate all of you.
who made me deserve the post as president.


Fantastic 4!! That's Eng Yap and the twins.


Such a complete photo, too bad I wasn't focusing.....hmmmm..... Committee 06/07 and 07/08.

TOLD YOU, I AM THE BEST ON MY YEAR, AND THAT'S WHY I GOT ELECTED AS PRESIDENT.
AND IT WAS PROVEN, OKAY?
ONE PROVERB FOR YOU, 'DO NOT JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER'.
I MAY LOOK NOT SUITABLE BUT IF I AM NOT, NO ONE ELSE IS.
I MADE MISTAKES, BUT WHO DON'T? I NEED TIME TO LEARN.
NOW I HAVE PICKED UP SPEED, AND I HAVE PLAYED MY PART WELL.
IN FACT, AFTER THE FAREWELL, YOU WERE IMPRESSED. DON'T DENY IT. THAT'S MOST PROBABLY WHY YOU KEPT QUIET.
TOLD YOU, I CAN.
I CAN NEVER FORGET HOW YOU HUMILIATED ME BEFORE.
HOW YOU TOLD EVERYONE ABOUT HOW YOU FELT TOWARDS THE WAY I DID THINGS.
HOW YOU THREW YOUR TEMPER TOWARDS ME IN PUBLIC.
HOW YOU EMBARRASED ME AND MY COMMITTEE IN FRONT OF ALL.
HOW COULD I EVER FORGET?
HOW COULD I EVER FORGIVE?
I WANT YOU TO SWALLOW BACK THOSE WORDS.
AND DON'T YOU DARE TO THREATHEN ME WITH THOSE WORDS THAT YOU WANT TO FIRE ME.
I AM NOT SCARED.
BECAUSE IF YOU DO SO, WHO DARES TO SUCCEED MY PLACE.
WHO FITS?
THINK. NOT EVEN A SINGLE SOUL.

Saturday, December 1, 2007

In The Name of My Father

In fondest memories of
HEE CHEU KUAN
Father,
Loyal civil servant,
Great tutor, engineer,
Role model,
Best friend.

人家说, 失去爸爸的孩子, 一定比别人更坚强,更有志气.
是的, 不见得我比任何人来得脆弱.
但人类是富有感情的动物.
有时候, 不外表的感触, 只是收藏在心底的伤痕累累.
不哽咽的哭泣, 是默默的把眼泪, 往肚里吞.
思念本是一种很自私自利的感觉.
我独吞的怀念, 是我一个人的感触.
但我的感触,始终挽不回一个人的存在.
唯有爸爸在我脑海里不朽的回忆, 才能留着他永恒的生命.
我不寂寞.
死去的只不过是一副躯体
活着的是一个曾经存在的力量.
他的精神死不去, 而将永远伴我而行.

As far as I could remember, dad was a great guy.
He loves golf a lot. Still remembering him playing every Sunday morning. I used to make noise from preventing him going so that he can take me to the park. But obviously failed. Dad bought a plastic toy golf set for me once. He taught me how to hold the club, how to swing, how to poise. When he was free, he would empty his golf bag, telling me the numbers on those clubs and what particular situation is suitable for which club. Dad only uses white golf balls. He promised me to teach me the proper way of playing golf when I turn 16. I was 6 that year.
The promise was meant to be broke.

Dad used to take me to the park near our house. I always wished for sunny evenings when he cannot find any excuse not bringing me there. Every time before leaving, we would look up the orange sky. I would then face the brighter part of the sky and try to guess whether it is west or east. When dusk falls, the road back home was lighted by orange street lights, accompanied by the rolling of the wheels of a bike, footsteps of an adult, and an unmistakable laughter.

Dad simply loves classical music. He got us a well enough surround system just for the purpose. He loves Chopin the most above all. I still can remember Vivaldi’s Spring ringing in my ears when I woke up. Sometimes, just to spice up the atmosphere during cooling nights, we would turn on the bulb lights, which emits a dim, romantic glow. I always hated that light. Then we would talk about Debussy and his songs written especially for children, Mozart and his early discovered talent……
When we drove back to Johor for Chinese new year, I would always fight to sit on the passenger seat in front. Then Dad will give me a map, and I will spend my time on the car matching mountains with symbols on the map. Dad always receives projects in Cameron Highlands so we went there often enough. He will tell me different town names as we mount the hill. I can still remember, Lata Iskandar Waterfalls on the foot, then Tanah Rata, then Brinchang……

Dad loves astronomy very much. I was 10 when the government first introduced online services in the government sector. Dad used the company’s computer to get his hands on the news about NASA and astronomy. He reads Einstein, Stephen Hawking, and Issac Assimov. At night, he will bring me to the garden and we will gaze up to the stars. Then, Dad will start pointing and telling me about names of stars, constellations. I rarely pay attention during those days. I just knew about Orion’s belt, the Great Dipper, Sirius and sometimes, by luck, I can spot Mars.

30 November 2000, I knew I would never see him again. On that day, I lost my father, my mentor, my best friend. The world is never fair. They took away a great guy but let thousands of useless people live.