Envelope

It was so close, that she could see the particles of dust upon the glass window panes. Outside, the street lights glowed orange. She felt the darkness creeping nearer by distance; the darkness of solitude she was so familiar with. The silence which works, walking in tandem added insult to injury. People were from far, she closed her eyes trying to recognise the voice she knew by heart in the midst of whispers. But nowhere could assurance be found. Nothing came.

She knew how agony cures another; it is all feelings in the end. Since the start. Allow the flesh receive similar as the heart could bear, she would want to do, and with vengeance so sweet. Stealing is a crime, that when your heart could no longer throb in your body because it has been stolen.

It was the sound she had been yearning to hear, regardless the words. Substance has been long disregarded, the aftermath had took place by default. Everyone should know, but she knew better. She was enveloped with immense pleasure when she saw the blade penetrated the mass of soft meat, the splatter of blood which rained on her face, crimson. It was a toast of a celebration. Like how everything works, it is the death of one, with the birth of another. The person she knew well died that day when the heart was stolen away; the birth of another is one creature without a heart.

She has got the courtesy to change the sheets and clean the floor. As water washes away the blood, she realises she has a larger burden to dispose of now.

考试教我的事

考试教我的事
教会了我，一个人可以很有本事
很有大志
要发奋图强，将来当个好律师
脚踏实地是关键钥匙
读书要趁早，不能错过年少当时
对人要坦诚，但也要有防范措施
知识可以一起分享，不过要看人就事论事
说话有信心是件好事
但瞧不起你的人，多的是
如果准备接纳成就，就当他们多管闲事
千万不能让别人的眼光，当作自己的见识
当别人说你的梦想只是童话故事
当你最需要的人，不在你身旁支持
记住，把牙根咬紧，死了也要坚持
放弃梦想，是蠢人做的事
失败是人生的必经之路，要把它当白饭那样吃
跌倒一次，不代表堕落整世
别忘了成功人士，是从否认中重新开始
谦虚低调，是做好人的一种方式
赞美要当暂时的甜头吃，不能让骄傲在心中繁殖
所谓忠言逆耳，难听的劝解得让自己反省有什么过失
考试教我的事
不只是书本上的白纸黑字
那些我学会的事，多的还是

The Love of My Life

When I was little, whenever I get upset, I know that tears wouldn't help in healing. So I submerge myself in books, reading writings of others. Besides the joy of reading, another reason I love to read is because it is personal, solitary and nonjudgmental.

When I grew up, whenever I get upset, I tend to reach out and tell my friends with the hope of them listening. However it eventually hit me that nobody actually understands, and most of them wouldn't have gave a damn. So I read. Later I knew that it actually helps if I talked to words, and I felt I feel something unlike any other when I express my feelings. So I write. My literature works talked to me, still personal, still solitary, still nonjudgmental. Then I knew that I had irrevocably fell in love with poetry. My literary works grew in time, I keep the bulk and reveal some to my friends who are keen readers. If you happen to read all, you will realise that mostly are of a somber attitude, portraying solitude and human despair, criticising injustice and moral unfairness. So you take it in a very light heart and forgive me because I write in times of bleak hopes and suppressed sadness.


Writing is a joyous song,
A sonnet, sung in summer air.
A whip of mist in the cold.
The warmth in the rain,
The love who embraces the hurtful spirit,
Mending hearts in a silent night.

How Far Would You Go To Protect A Secret?

But it was too terrible for that. When I tried to understand it, I had the feeling I was failing to condemn it as it must be condemned. When I condemned it as it must be condemned, there was no room for understanding ... I wanted to pose myself both tasks — understanding and condemnation. But it was impossible to do both.

~The Reader, Bernhard Schlink.

*

Disclaimer: The above quote has got absolutely nothing to do with what you're going to read afterwards, nor do the title does, okay?

So to say, things got a little off track these days which explains the relatively emo-ly posts nowadays. As much as I do want all nasty stuff to go away but it's normal that all these stuff takes time. Where thank heavens I'm still enjoying my going-to-end-soon break so that my head won't go off in this period of emotionally unstable times. Okay, screw it, whatever.

So following the crowd, everyone does their reflection of the old year and resolute for the new, and yours truly, though three days late, am gonna do so. 2009 is one heck of a year, started with a teaching job, found out that I actually liked it quite well. March marked the start of college life, which stemmed from a one handed decision to do law after so many years in the sciences. Never regretted though. July was tough as parting took place with the closest of friends, friends since childhood. August marked a page turning landmark in my life. Personal faith issues. November came another. A blink of an eye 2010 came, poof, where were you when time decided to move in pace?

2009 brought life defining moments, moments I live for to witness. First off is time spent with family. Above all I appreciate the fact that I'm still living with them and distance never have to be an issue, compared with those friends over on campus, missing home every night. Have to say I'm one heck of a blessed kid, ain't. Secondly, knew that friends come by choice. It's either being influenced, or be the influence. (Special thanks to kor) And I thank God much for opening my eyes to see who are worth standing by for, and well, those who don't which friendship I chose to abandon. Most importantly, 2009 is where I learn about living a principled life, abiding my faith based principles in anything I do. Of course, I do make mistakes but hey, we learn and make sure we don't repeat them. Downside of the year, I carried a weight of responsibility for a move which I made, where until today, I don't know whether it's right or wrong. Which brings me to my 2010 resolution:

To be truthful and respectable.

Which is very the irony because truthful people don't lie.

Okay, this is random haha.

Back to topic, I'm going to try to make my stands clear and stable so that no one can ever shake my foundations. I'm not going around trying to please everyone, because if you're true, you don't please people all the time. I've got to make choices which serves my consciences. Make sacrifices not to fulfill hunger and lust for temptations, resist all earthly and material ones. Everything that ties me back to my mission statement of the year. Be true. Be respected. Yay! God knows how much can I change for the better, but I keep my faith strong. I can do this if I want to. =)

PS: New year-kinda felt it's not the kind of craziness experience can fulfill much everything. Sometimes, it's how warm you can feel when you watch distant fireworks as you know the year is passing with people you love around you, sharing the kind of warmth you feel in their own context and in their own silence. Really.

If I Told A Lie

If I told a lie
Nothing but a little lie
When the angels stopped me with soothing voices
You assured me with intonation
" It's just a simple lie!"
I took your word half knowingly
Assuming the best
Yet I did told a lie
Nothing but a little lie
Which grew bigger
As sour faces and heads turned another way
When the angels told me " Apologise!"
You were firm to your grounds
"Lie! It's you and your life!"
My selfishness took me away
I love life too much than to sacrifice
Yet I did told a lie
A little lie which upsets trust
As friends shake heads in disbelief
When the angels showed me the power of forgiveness
You upturned your nose
" It's their fault they do not accept flaws!"
Ego reigns as pride blew me away
I rather prance in solo
Yet I did told a lie
A genuine lie
As labels of liar stuck on my face
When the angels cleansed my tears with love
You shamed me with disgrace
" It's no turning back! Lie or die!"
I was too used of being lonely and mistrusted
Yet I did told a lie
A liar's lie
As I blamed everyone for not giving me a chance
When the angels were silent
You smirked in delight
" It's you and your life!"
I thought about my lie
Yet I did told a lie
It started with just a little lie
As I regretted for being swallowed in disguise
Then I realise everything was been have as today
If I told a lie.

Take My Hand

You told me life is like music. Unpredictable. I nodded half knowingly, listening to jazz on the player. I liked the way you moved, the swift dance you did, stepping into the tempo of music. Laughter.

The night was young with a fresh smell of rain washed streets. Ambiance, dimmed lights cast shadows on two glasses of wine. One almost empty, scarlet liquid stained the cream tablecloth. The seat where you left was still warm on leather.

I hugged myself, my lips on my knees. The flowing air kissed my bare shoulders.

You danced your way, immersed in music. I peered as you glided yourself across the room, cannot help but to smile.

You noticed my smile. I had to pretend to look away as you drew distance to me. I failed to hide my smile anyway. You blew in my ear and took a short bow. I looked up as you posed, arched back, one hand on your chest, another extended towards me.

"Take my hand." you smiled.

Poetry to Share

What win I, if I gain the thing I seek?
A dream, a breath, a froth of fleeting joy.
Who buys a minute's mirth to wail a week?
Or sells eternity to get a toy?
For one sweet grape who will the vine destroy?

-The Rape Of Lucrece, Shakespeare

*hui Ting! Do not allow yourself to be tempted by earthly pleasures. Temporary joy rips you off your future. Prioritise according. You can do it!

Voices

Wake up. Time to leave.

But where?

Figure it out. Not that I have to tell you everytime.

What are you talking about?

Nothing. Get up now won't you?

But wha-

Just freaking get up damn it! Move it!

Okay okay....

And damn shut up! Silence!

Masks and masks, assumptions and lies. You are a liar. I know you are. You don't think you can fool me. Under the mask it's the real you, ugly and hideous. Disgustng and disgraceful. You disgust us. You are trash, deserves to be discarded, you-

Who was that? Who said that? Shut up! SHUT UP!

Hey you okay? Hey, Hey...

Shut up! Shut up!

You cannot win this time. You never won by the way. You just imagined you had the perfect life you had, but you have got nothing. Nothing but spite and shame. Nothing but destruction and-

Silence! Get up now! We're leaving NOW.

Who are you talking to? Hey, come on, you're scaring me. Cut it.

Running away isn't the solution. You are weak, you run. Again and again. Fleeing can not ease conscience. Face it, confront yourself, jus-

SHUT UP! SHUT UP! NO! NO! LEAVE ME ALONE! PLEASE!

Who are you talking to? NO!!! NO! NOOOOOOO!!! PUT THE GUN DOWN! NOOOOO!!!!

Conversation

It was a dark night, time was 3am in the morning. It was pouring, thunder growling amidst dark, heavy clouds, with the accompaniment of blazes of lightning. The wind howled and windowpanes rattled upon the frequency. The storm was bizarre, and likely enough that Malaysia would ever experience this kind of thunderstroms unless you're living by the coast or somewhere near our forests close to the borders of Borneo.

Uhm, okay, Scrape the hyperbole.

It was just a normal, stuffy, typical Malaysian night, and it is suffice to say that I cannot sleep under these extreme conditions. I was given a superb suggestion to open my books and do some revision but no thanks mum, I am happy with my pillows, though it was a guarantee slumber pill if I ever do so. Sue me, I am lazy.

When people cannot sleep, they think. Some even think in their dreams, and hence they get nightmares and they claim that it was a dream and something whatever oh so unrelated to me. Okay, so uhm, I was tossing and turning on bed and my mind did the same. Thinking and thinking and thinking.



Perhaps the idea of ruling was never so fine
The mind conquered over my emotions
Chosen law of nature to abide
I confess
I had failed before I try
With the intentions of soaring high
Why let the worthy be tested?
Why let the extroverts reign?
Why do audiences of crime, pass by
Without the label of sin
And ever tasted vengeance so sweet
I find it tempting to again seek
The addiction, nontherless
Had been so crucifying to ditch
I confess
Philosophy was to be understood
If ever I could shed pride
And humbly pursue
A degree of time
Wasted beyond consideration and mere perception
I confess
I am not worthy to please
Vocabulary of esteem
I never master the very fundamental
Life is but nothing of everything
I live to abide
I confess
I appreciate and I enjoy
And blessings to count every night
Are but my cravings for rush and lush
Solely my soul desires
I am but human
Mortal and of fool material
I confess
I shall rather survive =)

LOL, I like literature, ain't?

A Life to Weep

You see the distance between time, you sighed across silent waves of memories. They were coloured vibrantly, over the times, you've been seeing paradise, feeling elated beyond reality. You thought of the awful things, you came to a halt in your wanderings, finding the lost piece of jigsaw. It was missing in the middle, you wore that frown on your face, frustration etched. Obvious. Your desperation peaked, you found nothing however, you felt dejection swarming near, and you withdrew your courage, hurt till the very end.

There was a story about a boy who lives on top of a mountain and the grandfather told him abut a story about a boy who lives on top of a mountain and the grandfather told him abut a story about.....There, the fable of your life goes on, like a circle. You thought you're moving, but no. Something is making you walk that pace in life. You thought you moved on. Actually you were not. You fell back to square one once you walked far. Why you cried out? You blamed everyone, you fell into deep regret and discouragement. You saw no light, and you reached out, hoping someone will come and grasp you and pull you up. They did, but you stumbled, because you never did stood on your own feet. You knees were weak, like your will to live. Like your will to believe. You bought shame and humility, and you covered your face, veiled with anger and dispute. Such mundane act, mortals.

Time and tide waits for no man. You see your life walk by, you raised your hand and felt closure so intimate. As swishing leaves in the air rustle no more, you listened to the sad song of your life played as you proceed. You sing along and your tears flowed, until your eyes weep no more.


Protect me, Lord.

Prima Donna

I took option to disregard the consistency of pessimist remarks that others took into assumption, in my opinion, such cynical tags are unworthy my slightest attention. Norm as it seems, this minute plunge, and I shall believe, would be encountered and balanced with a soar during the very lowest point. Remaining my will with surges of gallant positivity, I believe should do me the strength to proceed with my climb towards a better intended future, and God-willing, with unremitting support from intimate friends and family members, I do experience such blessing with all my soul, grateful for the canopy of shield and shelter He provides, I humbly receive with bended knees. The retrospective perspective in which I hold, fundamented with sole disregard of sudden failure, has invited myself a savannah of shriveled hopes and bare clearings of portrayed future in my mind. Restless as it seems, I found myself lost in the perplexed and intricate maze, built of hedges of thorny influences of peer pressure and grounds of sleeping sorrow. However tough is was, closure seeps in, as God removes my agony, by providing my life with the abundance of support, as they resuscitate my drowned hopes with the lifebuoy of strength and encouragement. Every concern you extend, my friends, I accept whole-heartedly, be it profuse or thrifty of your own discernment. I had made up my mind that, regardless general believe that this course I opt holds bleak and almost sparse future, which I am going to pursue a degree in language and linguistics, subtly following where my heart points directions to. Afterall, man’s pursuit of success has always been subjective and it beholds in one’s sole discernment. Pray for me. As I will do the similar to you. Finally, excuse me for my inavailability to express this passage with succinctness, as I believe the gallant power in succulence of language in penmanship. I do seek forgiveness humbly supposing my employment of written representation had resulted in offense from audiences of the world wide web, whether intentional or the contrary.

Story Part 2

Disclaimer: This is a continuation from the previous post titled Story. The disclaimer for the previous post applies to this as well.

Three
His hands ran on the keys of the piano, playing Debussy. He blinked once when the dim lighting blurred his vision, trying to concentrate. He was tormented by his emotions which contrasts boldly with his light playing piece, as he struggled to balance his feelings. Those flashbacks were haunting his dreams again, as they never left his mind. The same picture of the same person, the event that happened. Moving in a crescendo, he thought about the ten years without her. Ten years since she left his apartment in a moonlit night. Ten years without any news of her. He closed his eyes and made the effort to concentrate. But his mind slipped away. Too burdened with emotions, he stopped his fingers and got up all of a sudden.

The bar went silent as the stool fell on the floor with a clang.

When he staggered home that night, half drunk, he swore he heard a familiar sob at the corner of the street. The voice which belonged to someone who he had missed for ten long years.

Four
She knew this was the best for him. As she saw the man she loved knelt on the street, throwing up to the sewer, she covered her face with her mouth and refrained herself from screaming.

What turned out was a wet sob.

Story

Disclaimer: The story is a fiction based on the author's own inspiration and creation. All characters in the post are purely fictional and the happenings in the story are not based on true events.

One

He opened the door only to receive a surprise. In his heart, it was a pleasing one. She stood by the doorstep, looking just like last time.

"Come on in. What's up?" he causally asked.

"Well, there's been such a long time since we had talked," she replied, flinging herself to the vacant loveseat. "I kinda missed you."

He kept his eyes fixed at the walls as he closed the door of his apartment. A long silence fell. Cars honked and dogs barked outside the apartment.

"Well," he begun, a knot on his throat, as he enunciated his words with difficulty, "we had not even met, let alone talked."

He took his seat and glanced back at her. She had her eyes shut and was concentrating with big effort. Tilting her head a little, she spoke:

"It's okay. Let's not talk about the past," she opened her eyes and stared into his, "It doesn't matter anymore, we were kinda idiots and childish that time."

She seem relaxed. He loosen his grip and felt that he was also, actually smiling in a sheepish way. She caught his eye and laughed a little.

"Well, I guess that's so much for being friends. We forgive and forget." she said.

"You forgot me, I thought," he begun, his sentence hanging in mid conversation. He looked at her, as she waved her hand, stretching,

"It's impossible for me to forget you," she crossed her legs and leaned forward.

"Friends forever."

He stood on the exact spot since she had left fifteen minutes ago. His eyes lingered over the empty photo frames piled up messily on the corner of the apartment, dust covered and forgotten. Those frames once captured the memories that he could never again dared to pursue. His left hand clutching the unfinished bottle of margarita, he gulped down with one swallow. As he staggered into his bed, his head kept replaying the words she said then:

"Friends forever."



Two

She pulled her cardigan across her face against the strong night wind. Looking up, she saw something just beautiful in contrast of her whole day: A full moon, bright and a flawless circle, illuminating the night sky. Her long hair danced in the wind as she closed her eyes to rejoice herself under the moonlight.

A tear fell.

Cecilia (Part One)

She walked along the cold corridors, passing by dusty portraits of dead ancestors, her hair prickling in the vast darkness. The floorboard creaked as she strode by. Three doors away, a silhouette appeared in the dark.

"This way, Mistress," the figure uttered under his rough, musky breath.

She obeyed, following the short, hunched man. They strode pass dirty chandeliers, torn flowery wallpapers until the hunched man stop abruptly in front of a door. With a stern glance at her, he unlocked the door, took several steps behind and vanished into the darkness.

A slow voice called: " Here, my child."

She walked into the room and knelt upon an old woman who was sitting on an armchair. Her creased hands caressed her young, pale face, the old woman weeping tears of joy, speechless for the moment.

She calmly lifted the pair of hands away, and unblinking, she stabbed the old woman with a fork she had been holding since the start of the visit.

The old woman screamed in agony, as blood splattered across the pale peach curtains.

Nearby, a flock of birds took journey to the north. Winter was near.

Before Night Falls

I am not really into vampires and fantasy stuff, but this is really an exception.


It is kinda teenage(I am 'post' teen)+romance(something not my cup of tea)+fantasy(again, not me). But it is really worth a try.

And it's going on screens on December.


Starring Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson.

I finished the book in 2 days.

Go and give it a try. I am not those people who liked fantasy stuff. I usually read books like The Da Vinci Code, Deception Point, The Last Lecture and stuff like that. Never ever chick flick or whatsoever. But I have really been on a roller coaster ride in this book. The style. Made my eyebrows twitch.

Haha...Try it. You can borrow it from me though.

Rendezvous- A Love Affair

Music are my words that failed to speak.

Playing the piano is like counselling. My fingers will do the taliking. Legato is my chained and accumulated feelings, while staccato explains why I am twitchy. A sudden forte is like I am bursting out my anger, as it will crescendo and allegro, exhibiting my rage and fury, like a man roaring to the sky. Then the rain falls as I decrescendo and largo the notes, as emotions will well up. I will close my eyes and think, while my fingers still striking the keys, gliding pass sharps and flats, doing alberti bass, chord, whether chromatic and highly syncopated, or just simple major key. I will imagine life speaking through music, and about how beautiful this world is with the blessings of music. It will control my five senses and numb my brain. It will then paralyses my body and I will be addicted to the process, lost in the world of fantasy. It will hypnotise and send me thinking about happiness and hope. The music reaches the finale, as it will diminuendo, and reality snaps back into possition. Awaken, I am now fully refreshed and fueled.

Music, oh so powerful is the soul of it. For it makes me feel eternal paradise. Close my eyes and I shall see.
Numb my brain and I shall think.
Paralyse my senses, and I shall listen to music.

Open My Mind and Say

Give me a moment.....

Would this be good, when you are allowed to spread your wings anytime and indulge in peace?
For freedom is illusional.You will only realise it when you have your own context towards it.

For me, freedom is ignorance.
Someday,
I will find it beautiful.
Life is hectic and stressful, while I find my peace here while blogging, where I can speak my mind and ignore the past and have no worries about the future.

'For how I handle stress? Because I am presistent. And it leads me to eternal paradise.'

Lions for Lambs

Let's put it in this way......

***START***
There are 3 people who met randomly under arranged circumstances. They are DW, Barium and Hydrogen Trioxide. DW and Barium are both guys who are equally capable and power hungry, so do Hydrogen Trioxide. She seems boring but actually she ia extremely power hungry, tough and unapproachable. Friends of DW and Barium do not really like her, because she usually keeps to herself and does not socialise much. They did not really understand her as well. Hydrogen Trioxide is a woman of substance and style. She keeps her emotions well guarded and plans her stratergy well. Nobody knew what is she thinking about and the true way she felt about things. But when she voice out, she meant it, and nobody liked it.

During the first meeting of the Fellowship, all 3 of them fought for the same power, the leader. It is not determining the real seatings, but for an event. Then, the performances of them will be evaluated and reconsidered to take upon the real order. Votes were casted and DW was elected, Barium as his assistant. Hydrogen Trioxide got a very minor responsibility. Eventhough it was only an event, but it was a great oppurtunity to show off skills and qualities. Too bad Hydrogen Trioxide did not get the chance. She kept quiet, not showing any feelings. But in her heart, anger and dissapointment poured. After the meeting, Barium spoke to her. He just wanted to make sure that everything was okay. She lied.

It was until the second meeting when 3 of them met again. With DW on the lead, he conducted the meeting. Present were the late batch of committees and the newly on-evaluation process members. DW conducted in such a way that Hydrogen Trioxide could not stand it anymore. She rose and spoke. After the meeting 3 of them plus Etandioate, the previous leader together with some met in person. Hydrogen Trioxide siezed her chance. She expressed her views and thoughts. Everyone listened. She may not be completely correct but she made her point.

Not after long Hydrogen Trioxide was throned President of a Board. She suceeded the throne of Ethandioate. (Ethandioate was the previous leader of both the Board and the Fellowship) She was very proud and happy and for once, contented. Etandioate told her that she can never receive another throne from him. She respected his choice, afterall, she have got what she wanted for so long.

One day Etandioate talked to her concerning his selection of the right person to receive his position in the Fellowship. He told Hydrogen Trioxide about how he thought about both DW and Barium. She gave him her views, being very conservative and honest. Eventhough she felt very wasted not being his consideration of receiving the position, but at least she is totally okay with it. No anger, no dissapointment. Nothing.

The final judgement was made. Everyone was gathered and names fitted for each position were written down formally. Hydrogen Trioxide was sitting in her seat, apparently not really focusing until she heard her name called. She was elected the new leader for the Fellowship. She nearly chocked. Shocked and surprised, Hydrogen Trioxide looked around the room, looking for answers. DW was elected her vice while Barium, 3 ranks lower than hers. Barium extended his hand to congratulate a very confused Hydrogen Trioxide. She looked around. DW looked extremely upset but he said that he was okay. She had to believe eventhough she don't have a clear idea what was happening all around.

After dismissing, Barium dissapeared for explainations from the Advisor. Hydrogen Trioxide waited for explanations. Barium told her everything.

The previous members of the board prefered Barium as the suceeding leader but the Advisor thought that DW is more suitable. Hence, there was war. Both sides were equally adamant to their decision. Etandioate, as the leader, have no other choice, but to peace the fight. He proposed another name, Hydrogen Trioxide. Since both of them were unable to tolerate, they both supported the idea. Then, ta-da, Hydrogen Trioxide was the new throne receiver.


Barium told Hydrogen Trioxide that she do not have to think the whole incident in a negative way. Deep down, Hydrogen Trioxide felt herself of no value. She took it as an insult.The truth hit her like a slap on her face. She received the position not because she fought for it, not because she wanted it. She received it out of a fight, a action of mankind that destroys rationality and value. Like the Chinese Proverb story, 'the fight between a stork and a clam, the fisherman who reaps the fortune'. She felt very sorry for DW. He fought and did a lot for the position, but in the end he lost it due to the intolerance between 2 sides, all out of his control. The same goes to Barium. Hydrogen Trioxide did not even wanted the position. But since coins were fallen from the sky, she pocketed them.

Hydrogen Trioxide made Barium her second assistant. She vowed to be a great and respectable leader during her time. She just wanted to prove that, she became the leader because she fitted, not because of the decision of others. Until this day, she sincerely felt that DW no longer have the same attitude towards her as before. Hydrogen Trioxide knew that all of these are a part of growing up. She have to be strong. She knew that after this, there will be responsibilities and challenges she have to face alone. She knew that she have to manage her time well and conduct herself better.

That's why she was at least respected. People will hate, talk bad, or even backstab. She don't even care. If you dare to question her authority, see how you face defeat when she prove victory and salvate success. She is better than any tarot card reader. She knew what to do before somthing starts. She knew what she would face before what she encounter. That's her strengths.

But Hydrogen Trioxide is also another human being just like anyone else. She have her emotions eventhough she do not display them. She have her fears, eventhough she do not talk about them openly. She also have weaknesses, just that happens that she is smart enough not to exhibit them so that she would not have people to use tham against her. You may know what she wants, but you will never know what she doesn't want.

***END***
The above post is based on a true story. Characters' names are changed to protect privacy.

爱 (first time blogging in Chinese)

Love suffers long and is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8

爱是恒久忍耐，又有恩慈。爱是不嫉妒。爱是不自夸。不张狂。不作害羞的事。不求自己的益处。不轻易发怒。不计算人的恶.不喜欢不义。只喜欢真理。凡事包容。凡事相信。凡事盼望。凡事忍耐。1哥林多人前书 13:4-8

你们到底懂不懂爱?
你们或许会认为我冷漠,无情,不意味爱. 事实上,不了解,不懂得,不知晓爱的,正是你们呀!
你们因为误会了爱,所以导致自己受伤害;因为错觉了爱,使自己执迷不悟的浪费了一切.
就因为花心思,时间,金钱,就叫爱吗?
就因为感觉,所以爱吗?
就因为喜欢,所以赴汤蹈火的保护一个人吗?
告诉你们,你们太天真了!

你们爱来爱去,最后也不是因为爱而收场?
你们轰轰烈烈的一场恋爱,也不是草草了事的结束?
如果这是爱,那问什么才是爱?

老土的一句:问世间情为何物?
答也老土一句,圣经里的1哥林多人前书 13:4-8.

我之所以领悟,才真正体会爱!

爱一点也不神秘.
爱处处都存在,处处都留下痕迹.
爱永不熄灭,爱值得拥有.
只要花点时间,慢慢思索,用心体会,你就能发现真爱.
爱不难寻找,因为爱就在你身边.
你们因为不成熟,所以从来没有发现它的存在.

我对爱的领悟是无私.
就因无私,所以伟大.

你们说过我很难爱上一个
我不否认.
因为我热爱的是生命.

我爱我的家人,朋友.
我了解他们,体谅他们.
当他们需要我时,我愿意陪伴他们.
当他们需要帮助是,我肯帮助他们.
我能因为他们成功,而为他们感到快乐,光荣.
我也因为他们伤心,而替他们感到难过.
我也因为他们受伤,而为他们打抱不平.
我也因为他们吃亏,而替他们感到不值得.

我爱人类.
我爱他们的人生.
所以我立志当医生
去添补他们的缺陷
去保护他们的生命
去照顾他们的福利
让人类爱惜生命,珍惜拥有
让人类消除怨恨,热爱和平

我认为,爱要大公无私.

自私自利的爱
假公济私的爱
能满足一时的欲望,
但一定不能永久

张开双眼看这世界
爱
无所不在

就因为爱而爱
这才叫做爱.



PS: 要我爱上一个人,让我感动吧!
或许我不够成熟,所以没资格批评爱.

After Reading

I just finished the book I borrowed from Shin Peih. It's entitled '第八号当铺', directly translating english, 'pawnshop no.8'. I know, this book has already been on the racks since ages ago, but since I have already 'disconnected' from the world of chinese novels, I decided to give it a try.

Not bad after all.

It's a story about dealings. In pawnshop no.8, one can exchange anyhting for anything.......meaning, you can exchange your body oragns, love, luck and anyhting else for success, glory, fame, money, prosperity...... Basically it is just like this. The part gets interesting when you see how they suffer under their own choices, sacrifices.......

I learnt something....appreciation.

But after reading, I kept thinking about the pawnshop. If, if, if and only if these were true, then would I baragin something for another? Maybe success, maybe wealth, maybe fame......then I would like to sacrifice something, but what would it be? Everyhting is precious to me. Success, wealth and fame can be earned over time, unnecessary to bargain them over my life.

Would you do so if given a chance to change your life? Fast and guaranteed. But at your own risk.

Enjoy.