I Appreciated It

Sometimes it's extremely frustrating when it comes to thinking about people. Say, a close group of friends of mine all possess diverged and very dissimilar characters and personalities.

Sometimes I totally disagree with what they say. Sometimes I agree. Sometimes when they say about things that totally contrast mine, I will just keep quiet. But it doesn't mean that they are not close friends. We may hurt each others feelings without realising but we still ended up as super best friends. And by shutting up at correct places shows critical thinking and respect, in my opinion.

Over the years, I have get to know different people from different backgrounds. Still, the same people remains as best friends. As Shakespeare said: Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none. People often regard that if they share common interests, they can become great friends. If two people have common behaviour, they can be compatible couples. But it is also generally known that people are in one together because of the tolerance to suit each others' needs and characters.


We all stand on the same ground, but we're different from the roots.

Why I am saying this is because...(taking deep breaths), I, like any people in this world, trust that no man is an island, and to say, I have a few friends who I regard as best friends. However, over the years of separation, I realised that some bits of the puzzle started to become unfit. There will be times that I think that I don't understand them at all. Sometimes I too think that they do not understand me as well. And most of the times I prefer to be left alone, simply pondering why this friendship is not that intimate as before. And as I boasted about knowing them the best, I suddenly realised that I actually knew them the least. About interests and stuff, well, of course I know, but speaking upon their mind, I found myself lost in trying my best to understand, and even trust.

I am not saying that this is their problem, and actually it's not even theirs, because I am the one having the problem that no best friend in the world had ever experienced it. Gone are the days of talking about everything to anything. And come are the times where I struggled about deciding whether to tell them about a certain topic, worrying about whether they will think in a different perspective...

Like for instance a conversation we had recently:
Me: The problem is he's poor.
YS: So if he's rich you'll accept him.
Me: Yeah, probably.
YS: (stunned) Can you not be so foolish?


"Shoulda been better", you said.

Well, it's not saying that I am not open to criticisms and advice. If I did something wrong obviously I am willing to change for the better. But upon some topics, I believe that we hold different perspectives and hence when these things happen, and for a reason, we have to be wide open to all opinions, right? I stated about liking rich guys so what? Some people fall for good looking ones, some fall for smart ones, some like those gentlemen who will give roses or rubbish...The point is, we have different points of view because we are form different backgrounds. And if we doesn't share the same doesn't make me an IQ lower than anyone else. At first I was greatly insulted but of course I shut up because they were my friends. And speaking about that do you think I will go and wag my ass in front of some rich guy who owns a firm and drives a Ferrari. Obviously I am not that cheap and obviously somebody THAT rich could have afforded a better girl. And I am saying rich by means of providing basic needs and of course ample entertainment and material comfort. Obviously if I were to choose a partner for life I would have chosen one who can support me. Not vice versa.

Maybe Michelle's words were more comforting.
MI: Eh, really ar..Poor...cannot.
Me: That's why. And now's not the time. Plus he's not my type.


When words she said suited your taste, is she your friend who agrees? Or your foe who agrees while in her heart distastes?

A lot of incidents have happened, including about SP. Well, not saying more here. But I just want to say that, SP is also one of my best friends. I have told her a lot of things that I've never told anyone else, due to the fact I knew people will think of me as cheap, sensitive, and self centered. Therefore I chose to tell someone who have similar experiences as I did. I have to say that, I have my insecurities when dealing with stuff, hence I choose my words and listeners. It doesn't mean that I do not trust you, it is just because I am the type of human who do not like people to have hidden feelings, and hide them because of not to hurt someone they love. I just want to say that you guys are my best friends and I love you equally.


If we have same experiences, should we detest those who have not got the chance?

PS: Guys you know who am I referring to. I know my attitude is a bit suckly these days but I just want you all to know that no matter what happens we will still be best friends forever. But you need to understand that we're different biologically and physiologically, and the diverging opinions should not be resulting in mistrust and misunderstandings, but rather tolerance and respect. And I owe you guys an apology.

SORRAY~
One measure of friendship consists not in the number of things friends can discuss,but in the number of things they need no longer mention.
Clifton Fadiman

Let's hope this is not one of the topics we later discuss.