Rendezvous- A Love Affair

Music are my words that failed to speak.

Playing the piano is like counselling. My fingers will do the taliking. Legato is my chained and accumulated feelings, while staccato explains why I am twitchy. A sudden forte is like I am bursting out my anger, as it will crescendo and allegro, exhibiting my rage and fury, like a man roaring to the sky. Then the rain falls as I decrescendo and largo the notes, as emotions will well up. I will close my eyes and think, while my fingers still striking the keys, gliding pass sharps and flats, doing alberti bass, chord, whether chromatic and highly syncopated, or just simple major key. I will imagine life speaking through music, and about how beautiful this world is with the blessings of music. It will control my five senses and numb my brain. It will then paralyses my body and I will be addicted to the process, lost in the world of fantasy. It will hypnotise and send me thinking about happiness and hope. The music reaches the finale, as it will diminuendo, and reality snaps back into possition. Awaken, I am now fully refreshed and fueled.

Music, oh so powerful is the soul of it. For it makes me feel eternal paradise. Close my eyes and I shall see.
Numb my brain and I shall think.
Paralyse my senses, and I shall listen to music.

Via the Tube

It was way better than I had expected.

It's the exact feel when I watched Hannibal Rising last year. It just makes me go silent for some time.

By the way, great music. Just scroll down and click on the imeem control and listen to one of the soundtracks.

Anticipating another thing like that.

A Matter of Time and Fate

We went to 1 Utama when we knew the news.
Zi Qin and the twins saw it on NST and The Star.



Save the suspense.
It's an advertisment about watches.

CHRONOTECH


haha...

Time zone is giving away 8 chronotech watches for RM8 only while the original price is RM500 something. It's on a lucky draw basis. So, we rushed to 1 Utama as early as 9am.

There was already a crowd, and a long queue.
But in the end we didn't manage to get the watch.
Maybe luck wasn't by our side.

I am okay. But it SEEMS like Zi Qin and the twins were dissapointed beyond words. They complained that they did not put in the hope to win. Yoong Ling even said that she was unprepared. lol. Zi Qin kept glaring at the guy who got the watch and said that it was supposed to be hers. lol again.

But we pretty enjoyed ourselves.

I believe that if something is meant to be yours, it will be. If it is not, then it will never be.

Never mind. One day I will afford one.


But at least walking away from Time Zone with a free T-shirt was not bad either.
People people....haiz....

Miserable March

The begining of the month of March has already signifying the start of something bad. Not to say that I am pessimistic, but it's already punching my ass inside out. LOL.

I just friggingly HATED my current life.

I just found out that I am really really REALLY not made for Form 6. And I regretted being so adamant with my choice when I took this path after SPM.
I regretted ignoring all those offers to private colleges.
I regretted in believing that I can.
I ACTUALLY CANNOT.

I am struggling all the way in form 6. Because you know why. The course is EXTREMELY difficult and challenging. *phew* And it requires a lot of diligence, consistency, patience and a hell lot of determination to get you to the top. And I am DAMN lazy, stubborn, carefree and make it short, just lost my interest to challenge myself.

Seriously I have changed a lot.

The me those days.
top student
best in a lot of subjects
listen to lessons
pass up homework on time
make an effort to improve
study till late
wont give up
read till understand
fully prepared for exams

The me nowadays
lazy
wont give a damn
disobey teachers
nearly flunked maths
sleep during classes
skipped classes which i hate
never revise anything
easily tempted by tv and pc
give lame excuses

I am not fit to be a doctor.
Doctors are hardworking people, and the making of one also needs diligence.
I do not have the requirement.

I used to be a model student.
I used to set an example for others to follow.
I used to have envious results.
I used to be the one who answer questions.

Now I am not all those anymore.

The straight As are all history.

I don't know what to do. I just want myself back.

i just knew that, I am going to get terrible results for STPM, and my mum is going to go nuts, and all my family members will look one kind at me. And I am going to private U next time.

I should have accepted the offer to study A levels with the tuition fees waived scholarship. At least I could have been clear what am I supposed to do.

I am not like Pei Foong, Chai San, Apichat. They are built for STPM. Some people like me are not.

Too late to regret. There are things that I am not willing to let go no matter how unimportant it seems to everyone else.

Form 6 is definitely an eye opening experience. I have matured more in the process of it. It allows me to see things I have never seen before, experience life that I will never ever forget, pity the pathetic, mourn for the naive.

March is the end of the first semester.
MISERABLE MARCH.

Total DUH-ness

Lately it had been stressful.
First, it was billboard. The hardwork of staying back, brainstorming for ideas and technically decorating the board AND ALSO all those gossips(ouch), backstabbings(ouch again) and the natural fear of competition(OUCH).
Actually I am not bothered about winning. I just cared about finishing my work fast, and the board is presentable, then I am totally COOL.
I just wanted to cherish those times that everyone spent together as a team, bond by friendship, determined to finish some project. When it has done, I felt happy, without winning or not.
Unlike OTHER people. (names not mentioned)
Oh the results will be out at 4 april. Will upload photos later.

Then the dreadful exams.
One word.
Sucked.

Then Chinese Society Stuff.
I freaking hate some people who are not appreciative of whatever I have done so far. It feels sick and tired thinking of her, and I hate her!! The words that come out from her mouth, every letter felt so hurtful, disgusting and pathetic!! I am already very commited and responsible. I really really got fed up, and I really really wished that one day I could stand up and bark at her face, saying: 'eh, please la. I have already done my best. Please don't make little things seem enormous and humungous. Please use a little bit of maturity and cool to solve problems, not pointing fingers at every direction. And the problem is, THAT IS NOT EVEN A FRIGGIN PROBLEM!! SO WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM??'

ARGH!!
yelling once.
Stop. Yeah I am okay.
For now.













Bye Bye.