Monday, March 29, 2010

Shine On Me, Hope

I take the rush hour train to college every morning, with faithful routine. The overhead bridge I cross every morning has the splendid view of the sky with endorsed glorious sunlight, and never ever fails in making me stop to glimpse and feel the warmth.

The sun just makes my everyday perfect.

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Revision Month

With the month of March approaching its end, I daresay it's one of the most fulfilling time I had ever had in my life. Although studying and revising is kinda burdensome and routine and it gets boring after some time, but it's a responsibility too heavy to shake off, I think.

Mum has been nagging on me spending too much time in college. She actually told me to get some life in which I went totally speechless. Well, I do feel I get tensed up when it gets to revision and I get frustrated easily. But it's just the agony of the moment. I still continue in giving tuition, despite friends telling me to stop in order to concentrate in studies. I watch CSI very madly. And I play piano everyday and without fail, spend time to FB. It's not about life like going out meeting friends everyday and having fun. It's about cutting down here and there and substitute the context of fun in other means. Other more convenient, conventional means. Balancing is all about maintaining priorities and slipping in exceptions here and there, with a mindful thought of bearing your own strengths and weaknesses.

I daresay I am a very principled person and I adhere to them. =)

After so long without touching my blog suddenly my hand tergatal-ed hence the post. Or else I won't be more bothered to on the PC because I'm so freaking lazy nowadays.

Oh by the way, I'm cutting down on food and hopefully it turns around as a blessing in disguise nyah nyah~ Personal reasons though, but I'm faithful.

In anyway, I do thank God for everything that had happened because those stuff gave me a contrast to see for myself and choose. Plus, He gave me real good health and insofar friends I've have been sick due to stress, I am perfectly okay despite skipping meals. He gave me correct people who turn up during correct times. Never felt this good before=)

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

A Love Like No Other

During troubled times like this, the situation kinda works like a blessing in disguise.

This is when you know who will sacrifice, care, go all out, understand, listen and do whatever, ever, to make you feel better. All in the name of friendship. And I have nothing more to give, but my sincere gratitude.

I am touched, because I have friends who share the same vision as I do. Who have the same principles in life as I do. Who I believe and trust in. I'm so filled with positive energy that I'm prepared to envisage a future obtained by honest effort. I am happy and loving life like this: meaningful and fulfilling.

I LOVE YOU GUYS=) After all the thunderstorms, I do believe in rainbows.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Blame Factor

What exactly I'm feeling now is a mixture of confusion and depression. I'm enraged. This world. You can't fit the term fairness in.

Say whatever you like about me. I DON'T CARE.

What I'm doing now is my ACCOUNTABILITY to myself. I want to do this because I want to. Whatever the outcome will be, I know that at the very least, I had played my part, and I played it well. So screw you if you ever dare to judge me for whatever I do.

It's a matter of principle.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Day 60

Henry told me to get some rest today because according to him, I looked like a zombie. He told me to fear the worst, that under great pressure, I'll go stark blank on the very day of the exams.

Firstly, I wasn't even working hard enough. If I were so I wouldn't be blogging this.
Secondly, God forbid, I'll never go blank in the exam hall.
Thirdly, passing and scoring are two different things. One needs hard work and another needs an additional element of stratergy and sacrifice. My hard work, is not enough.

Eyebags are the first symptomps of stress.

I don't mind sacrificing, just that I do wish I could score with excellent results, as a reward of what I've put in.

Again, they say the best will come for those who work for it. =)


Nobody can do anything to help me right now, unless your help comes in the form of RM2K. I'm sick of being in debt and being unable to pay bills and unable to work and exercise financial freedom thanks to a hectic schedule and an overworried mum. And don't treat me too well, people. I don't know how to repay you in future. My problems, I'll settle myself. Don't pity me because I'm cutting down on food and stationery because I cannot afford to have them regularly to save for paying debts and bills. I thank you guys for the concern, but it makes me look cheap and poor and incapable. Because I'm not, and I don't deserve to be helped due to my irrational and instinct-based decisions I had made in the past. If I need anything, in desperation, I'll ask for assistance. And I'll make sure your good deeds are repayed.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

Don't Let Anyone Tell You What You Can't Do

Needless to say, revision week kicks in and hence starts the new saga of hectic student life: Class from Mondays to Sundays with long hours of continuous lectures. I totally get the mood. So does many. The library is so crowded nowadays with shocking silence despite the congregation.

Probably I seem very stressed out. I am because I do. But it still doesn't negate the fact I relax a lot at home: from TV to movies. But so long as I strike a balance, it'll be okay, I guess.

The busier I get, I start to get the feel that life is starting to get better.

Right on track I should say.

There are lots of sacrifice made, but I still think it is worth it. Though results cannot be seen now, I can judge that small differences I make to my habits are disciplining me. I'm so starting to get the gist of becoming a responsible adult. =)

I want to foresee myself going into the exam hall with confidence and leave it smiling. I want to see myself receiving results with a contented smile. Small goals like this, will make up the ultimate big goal in my life.