You'll never let me feel miserable, always being able to say things to cheer me up.
You tolerate my weirdest mode swings.
Your advices benefits the majority, though sacrificial in your behalf.
Your silence said it all.
Your sincerity impacts.
You're special to me, and I'm sorry if I had let you down. Like every time I wipe off all means of proceeding.
You deserve better. I'm sincere.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
Caught a Cold
It started with me going to take a shower at 1am in the morning. Then, with the 16 degree aircond blasting over my head. The next thing I know, I've caught a terrible cold as I woke up this morning. My right nostril decided to run like a open tap, and my throat felt as if there was fire scorching down the entire esophagus. Eyes watering and sneezy, I ruined my Monday.
Great isn't it? It was until just now I took four pills down with ten glasses of water. No joke. That's how stubborn I am. Refusing to believe I'm sick.
Great isn't it? It was until just now I took four pills down with ten glasses of water. No joke. That's how stubborn I am. Refusing to believe I'm sick.
Sunday, December 27, 2009
So Many Smiles
Azamians@ Papa John's Times Square.
All the gossips.
All the laughter.
All the memories.
You guys made my day. *Hugs*
Saturday, December 26, 2009
Christmas
Now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see. ~Hebrews 11:1
Devotion on eve's night, I gave thanks for blessings I receive, and I prayed for new hopes and wishes. I had a bad day, and the feeling of dejection uplifted slightly, but it was until Christmas noon I followed mum to her office, and I spotted Success Principles laying on her desk.
I propped up and start reading, since I was free and twins had mentioned before about how good the book is, which I highly doubted (because I thought it was a replica of The 8th Habit or whatever). As I finished about 1/5 of the book, I was immersed with a brand new dream, an indispensable founded hope to plan and achieve the life I want, to be successful and happy. Though the book is inspiring and motivating, another reason being that, reading through kept my mind circulating around incidents and people by my side, about how everything ties back to faith and FAITH ALONE.
And this Christmas, I know that, with faith, everything is possible. Faith empowers and faith moves. Faith is through connection with God, to seek Him earnestly in life. And as we have fun this season, we cherish relationships around us.
Faith work wonders.
Eve at 69 Bistro
=)
Devotion on eve's night, I gave thanks for blessings I receive, and I prayed for new hopes and wishes. I had a bad day, and the feeling of dejection uplifted slightly, but it was until Christmas noon I followed mum to her office, and I spotted Success Principles laying on her desk.
I propped up and start reading, since I was free and twins had mentioned before about how good the book is, which I highly doubted (because I thought it was a replica of The 8th Habit or whatever). As I finished about 1/5 of the book, I was immersed with a brand new dream, an indispensable founded hope to plan and achieve the life I want, to be successful and happy. Though the book is inspiring and motivating, another reason being that, reading through kept my mind circulating around incidents and people by my side, about how everything ties back to faith and FAITH ALONE.
And this Christmas, I know that, with faith, everything is possible. Faith empowers and faith moves. Faith is through connection with God, to seek Him earnestly in life. And as we have fun this season, we cherish relationships around us.
Faith work wonders.
Eve at 69 Bistro
=)
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
A Roll of Events
The feeling after exams is simply describable in one word: SYOK.
Spent my Friday over at Weng Sum's place, then out to Soul'ed Out for dinner with primary school classmates.
Well, more of these opportunities would make my life memorable should I say? =)
*
Saturday night, attended Alex's/Chris's bro's wedding dinner. Besides splendid food and the joy of congratulating a married friend, the chances of eye candying were of aplenty. ^^
Four of us make the event rock, well, an overstatement lol. Not forgetting the Annie scene. Classic I should say. *Insiders Joke*
*
Sunday and Monday, took the liberty of staying at home to do our annual spring cleaning. The event which spoils my mood.
The night out at Desa ParkCity rounded up the cacatness of the day, thank God.
*
Today, went One U with Pei dear. Ate like a mad woman.
Firstly, walled up tang yuens in her house. Dong Zhi falls on today, much to my surprise. In fact no one in my house gave notice. XD
Next stopped by McD for sundaes. =)
Then went to Garden Cafe for dinner.
Secretly feel that place utilises the similar concept as Full House.
Waffle World for tea.
After a very unsuccessful attempt of trying Paddington House of Pancakes and Chocolate Lounge.
Omigosh.....FATTENING! ==
Random shots in One U:
Performance with conjunction of Christmas. Note: Those kids were uber cuteeeee!
I bought sticky =)And look, it says Merry X'mas there ^^
Love love love love=) If they are tahanable ( from me eating non-stop) I will go share them with my friends. And the truth is, I am irrevocably in love with Sticky. Not just sticky, I mean, like every single sweet in the world. I would go head over heels for them, by just looking at those colourful glittering shiny things in bottles made me feel very very happy. I could stay in Sticky for hours and hours just looking at sweets. Oh my... Sugarish^^ Sticky is so addictive =)
*
The rest of the holidays would probably would be me spending time with myself. I need a solo trip, a night for poetry (I've abandoned my poetry writing for such a long time), time to master Nocturne Op.9 No.1 (find it super nice, hence need to practice, a solo arts performance... Cause I know that this would be the last days to do anything BUT LAW because once January starts, I vow to commit my time and effort on LAW AND LAW ALONE, hehehehe...Enthusiastic leh~
Still, torn between choices for Christmas eve night. =________=
Spent my Friday over at Weng Sum's place, then out to Soul'ed Out for dinner with primary school classmates.
Well, more of these opportunities would make my life memorable should I say? =)
*
Saturday night, attended Alex's/Chris's bro's wedding dinner. Besides splendid food and the joy of congratulating a married friend, the chances of eye candying were of aplenty. ^^
Four of us make the event rock, well, an overstatement lol. Not forgetting the Annie scene. Classic I should say. *Insiders Joke*
*
Sunday and Monday, took the liberty of staying at home to do our annual spring cleaning. The event which spoils my mood.
The night out at Desa ParkCity rounded up the cacatness of the day, thank God.
*
Today, went One U with Pei dear. Ate like a mad woman.
Firstly, walled up tang yuens in her house. Dong Zhi falls on today, much to my surprise. In fact no one in my house gave notice. XD
Next stopped by McD for sundaes. =)
Then went to Garden Cafe for dinner.
Secretly feel that place utilises the similar concept as Full House.
Waffle World for tea.
After a very unsuccessful attempt of trying Paddington House of Pancakes and Chocolate Lounge.
Omigosh.....FATTENING! ==
Random shots in One U:
Performance with conjunction of Christmas. Note: Those kids were uber cuteeeee!
I bought sticky =)And look, it says Merry X'mas there ^^
Love love love love=) If they are tahanable ( from me eating non-stop) I will go share them with my friends. And the truth is, I am irrevocably in love with Sticky. Not just sticky, I mean, like every single sweet in the world. I would go head over heels for them, by just looking at those colourful glittering shiny things in bottles made me feel very very happy. I could stay in Sticky for hours and hours just looking at sweets. Oh my... Sugarish^^ Sticky is so addictive =)
*
The rest of the holidays would probably would be me spending time with myself. I need a solo trip, a night for poetry (I've abandoned my poetry writing for such a long time), time to master Nocturne Op.9 No.1 (find it super nice, hence need to practice, a solo arts performance... Cause I know that this would be the last days to do anything BUT LAW because once January starts, I vow to commit my time and effort on LAW AND LAW ALONE, hehehehe...Enthusiastic leh~
Still, torn between choices for Christmas eve night. =________=
Saturday, December 12, 2009
The Purpose of Life
I followed college's CF to a Myanmar Refugee to spread some Christmas joy. What I've learned today besides having fun with the kids:
Content in life comes with closure with God. Seeking God earnestly will fill spiritual gaps in my life, not material abundance where enough will never be enough.
When I fail to achieve in life, I should be contented with what I've been provided. Simple and the most precious things in life comes free, because God's love blesses all with equality and simplicity. When I lament about life being unfair, being poor, I know I should be contented because at least I've been blessed with food and shelter, oppurtunities for education, a family who loves and friends who care. Working hard to achieve my spiritual goal currently, I know if I'm medidating God's word with faith and sincerity, I will be blessed and I will be happy in my life on Earth.
Where would I be without You in my life?
Content in life comes with closure with God. Seeking God earnestly will fill spiritual gaps in my life, not material abundance where enough will never be enough.
When I fail to achieve in life, I should be contented with what I've been provided. Simple and the most precious things in life comes free, because God's love blesses all with equality and simplicity. When I lament about life being unfair, being poor, I know I should be contented because at least I've been blessed with food and shelter, oppurtunities for education, a family who loves and friends who care. Working hard to achieve my spiritual goal currently, I know if I'm medidating God's word with faith and sincerity, I will be blessed and I will be happy in my life on Earth.
Where would I be without You in my life?
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Thanks Mum
The opinion shattered my anticipation like a slap on my face. I'm close to tears, fed up and in sheer disappointment.
Mum gave me a piece of advice which I felt quite true.
" Now you're young. If you're sure this will last, you wait. You don't rush into conclusions. You be patient now, it will ensures you not getting hurt in future, if anything happens. In any conduct you do, remember, does your actions reflect a decent upbringing, does it portray a decent family? Be accountable to your own actions, to your family who loves you and protect you. The world today is not simple, men are even more complicated. They will reject you when they are tired and fed up, they will even make it fast when they have a little bit of education. Protect yourself by being accountable to yourself. Be who you are. Focus primarily on your studies. And you will reap success as you grow and mature. All material fun that happens now, would not guarantee you substance in life. Know what your dreams are, work towards that direction."
Though it doesn't apply now, what she said truly did left an impact and I began to question myself on having too much fun with my Intermediate exams drawing close. Really, it's now time for studies and taking the first step in ensuring my dreams come true. And she does really made my day. I'm not that upset though it would be untrue to say that I'm all okay right now.
Mum, thanks for the piece of advice. Thanks for the comfort you indirectly injected. Thanks for always protecting me from harm and heartbreaks. Thanks for shielding me from being taken advantage of. Thanks for cushioning my fall when I do it hard. Thanks for your love to me and the family. I will not let you down in life. I will be successful so that you can be proud of your own daughter. =)
Love ya!
Mum gave me a piece of advice which I felt quite true.
" Now you're young. If you're sure this will last, you wait. You don't rush into conclusions. You be patient now, it will ensures you not getting hurt in future, if anything happens. In any conduct you do, remember, does your actions reflect a decent upbringing, does it portray a decent family? Be accountable to your own actions, to your family who loves you and protect you. The world today is not simple, men are even more complicated. They will reject you when they are tired and fed up, they will even make it fast when they have a little bit of education. Protect yourself by being accountable to yourself. Be who you are. Focus primarily on your studies. And you will reap success as you grow and mature. All material fun that happens now, would not guarantee you substance in life. Know what your dreams are, work towards that direction."
Though it doesn't apply now, what she said truly did left an impact and I began to question myself on having too much fun with my Intermediate exams drawing close. Really, it's now time for studies and taking the first step in ensuring my dreams come true. And she does really made my day. I'm not that upset though it would be untrue to say that I'm all okay right now.
Mum, thanks for the piece of advice. Thanks for the comfort you indirectly injected. Thanks for always protecting me from harm and heartbreaks. Thanks for shielding me from being taken advantage of. Thanks for cushioning my fall when I do it hard. Thanks for your love to me and the family. I will not let you down in life. I will be successful so that you can be proud of your own daughter. =)
Love ya!
Sunday, December 6, 2009
A Series of Unfortunate Events
I'm mean. I really am.
I've been sleep deprived and moody these days. I get upset and disappointed quickly not to say that I'm extremely snappish and it stems from my own temper being fluctuating and those events which nicely falls on the period where I'm having a swingy mood.
Not funny at all.
First of all, mocks, is haunting me. The idea of having the exams with less than one week of time to prepare simply just left me idealess where to start. Cliche to say but, so much to do, so little time. I've been slacking and work has piled up towards a tremendous extend. What pisses me off is that I'm not having to motivation to catch up and I blame temptations. And I'm actually lecturing my friends to start studying. Oh how oxymoron is that.
Then I had a row with my mum. We're not exactly in nice terms. Sigh.
Some articles and stuff disturbs me. I felt my distance with God had somehow widened, and I have to seriously meditate more on my faith. Nowadays my strength is easily shaken and I know, with God, everything is possible. I want everything to be true to me. I want my life to be meaningful but as I open my eyes to the world, it seems suddenly vague and surreal to reach an ideal image of life. Well, it seems that I've been expecting to much. Nevertheless, time with God is still a must and in the event men fail, God never does. He's still the best.
I have financial crisis. I seriously do.
I hate the feeling of feeling alone. It sucks.
I'm pathetic. I pray for a good day tomorrow. It has to be one.
I've been sleep deprived and moody these days. I get upset and disappointed quickly not to say that I'm extremely snappish and it stems from my own temper being fluctuating and those events which nicely falls on the period where I'm having a swingy mood.
Not funny at all.
First of all, mocks, is haunting me. The idea of having the exams with less than one week of time to prepare simply just left me idealess where to start. Cliche to say but, so much to do, so little time. I've been slacking and work has piled up towards a tremendous extend. What pisses me off is that I'm not having to motivation to catch up and I blame temptations. And I'm actually lecturing my friends to start studying. Oh how oxymoron is that.
Then I had a row with my mum. We're not exactly in nice terms. Sigh.
Some articles and stuff disturbs me. I felt my distance with God had somehow widened, and I have to seriously meditate more on my faith. Nowadays my strength is easily shaken and I know, with God, everything is possible. I want everything to be true to me. I want my life to be meaningful but as I open my eyes to the world, it seems suddenly vague and surreal to reach an ideal image of life. Well, it seems that I've been expecting to much. Nevertheless, time with God is still a must and in the event men fail, God never does. He's still the best.
I have financial crisis. I seriously do.
I hate the feeling of feeling alone. It sucks.
I'm pathetic. I pray for a good day tomorrow. It has to be one.
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Brazilian Guitar Duet
As happens every year, my uncle and aunt will have to organise Brazilian guitar concerts and good for the fact I get to watch for free and experience the organising process. This year, I brought along Henry, Michelle, Cai Lee, Johnson and Pek Kwan. In KLPAC as usual, and apart of some minor problems, all went fairly well. ^^
So I'm gonna let pictures dictate. Photo galore with extreme haolian-ess warning ahead.
The colourful seats which is the signature concept of KLPAC.
Camwhoring session in crew's dressing room. Beauty and the beast. XD
A very haolian Henry promoting the dressing room.
Okay okay, in general, my face look damn distorted and I blame the light and Henry for providing the obvious contrast. Hated it. Nevertheless I still rock, okay?
And we got to take this photo with Cristina Azuma, one of the performers thanks to Henry for muka tebal tebal requested. She is really cute cause we were there inside the room making lots of noise. She peeked inside and was kinda oh sorry, I want to look for Emily. So cute~
The next day of the performance my girls came. ^^
Camwhoring became an essential agenda.
The second day was more important as it involved people from lots of embassies in Malaysia. Work was more intense and scrutiny was more stringent. But the best thing was, drinks was on free flow. ^^
Mich and Cai Lee. Muacks~
Part of *toot*-ing the wall series. Winks~
I love them! Friends forever and hugs!!!!
Part of the cocktail part post event, only for VIPs who had lanci looks and in which 70% are angmohs. Yet I can eat cause I've got a sticker. ^^ After the event my uncle's staff began to shove boxes of left over unopened wine into their cars. I only took three bottles, thank God I'm smart. ^^
Music always lives in me as I consider myself blessed to have such opportunities to attend related activities and well, it recharges my soul, and inspires a lot. I love for the fact too I can share these chances with friends who I love and get them to know these stuff better. Anyway, MPO is my next target and well, after music and fun, I've to get back to concentrate on law as Mocks are near. All the best everyone~
So I'm gonna let pictures dictate. Photo galore with extreme haolian-ess warning ahead.
The colourful seats which is the signature concept of KLPAC.
Camwhoring session in crew's dressing room. Beauty and the beast. XD
A very haolian Henry promoting the dressing room.
Okay okay, in general, my face look damn distorted and I blame the light and Henry for providing the obvious contrast. Hated it. Nevertheless I still rock, okay?
And we got to take this photo with Cristina Azuma, one of the performers thanks to Henry for muka tebal tebal requested. She is really cute cause we were there inside the room making lots of noise. She peeked inside and was kinda oh sorry, I want to look for Emily. So cute~
The next day of the performance my girls came. ^^
Camwhoring became an essential agenda.
The second day was more important as it involved people from lots of embassies in Malaysia. Work was more intense and scrutiny was more stringent. But the best thing was, drinks was on free flow. ^^
Mich and Cai Lee. Muacks~
Part of *toot*-ing the wall series. Winks~
I love them! Friends forever and hugs!!!!
Part of the cocktail part post event, only for VIPs who had lanci looks and in which 70% are angmohs. Yet I can eat cause I've got a sticker. ^^ After the event my uncle's staff began to shove boxes of left over unopened wine into their cars. I only took three bottles, thank God I'm smart. ^^
Music always lives in me as I consider myself blessed to have such opportunities to attend related activities and well, it recharges my soul, and inspires a lot. I love for the fact too I can share these chances with friends who I love and get them to know these stuff better. Anyway, MPO is my next target and well, after music and fun, I've to get back to concentrate on law as Mocks are near. All the best everyone~
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Confessions
I couldn't agree more with the verse an idle mind is the devil's workshop. True that I spent an entire afternoon formulating weird fantasies about the future in my mind, being that I have nothing better to do and there is not a single soul with me. I always thought myself as a decent being, but earthly temptations change people for the worse and in the end you wail upon God for forgiveness and relying on faith to change you for the better but in fact the little man in you kept seducing your soul to indulge in temporary happiness with the fact you know it being sweet in this moment and would turn bitter in the next. But why still people commit them when they know for the fact they are evil? Why temptations are temporary yet seductive enough to make man sell their sold out in exchange for a breath of momentary joy, and such joy betrays eternity, allowing loathsome regret for lifetime. How does it feel to burn in eternal fire? And how long is eternity? How can man sell his soul for earthly pleasures with mind that eternal flames shall burn his flesh? How can people let evil reign? How could they sell their soul?
I pray for God to save them, they are lost, fallen and blinded. May His love save them all, may His grace rescue them. May truth and only God's word rule the world. I pray for a better world. I admit I was troubled and beyond disturbed, and my heart tears for those who turned away from the correct way. I am weak and ruthless, let God work miracles.
I pray for God to save them, they are lost, fallen and blinded. May His love save them all, may His grace rescue them. May truth and only God's word rule the world. I pray for a better world. I admit I was troubled and beyond disturbed, and my heart tears for those who turned away from the correct way. I am weak and ruthless, let God work miracles.
Friday, November 27, 2009
Park People
After a very fulfilling lunch at Secret Recipe plus a random lepak session which was aimless, totally, Michelle came out with a brilliant idea of strolling the park at Desa Parkcity. It was quite some time since I've gone there. Used to be a very regular customer at Coffee Bean over there due to study groups during times of Form Six. Ah the memories.
Group photo in Secret Recipe. Before this, forgive me for the lousy quality of the photos taken because all were from phone's camera.
Desa Parkcity overlooking residential homes. (redundancy ain't =P)Check out the clouds. Damn nice. My ideal image of clouds, yeah like whatever.
Four jakuns. We took lotsa photos as if we were there for some photoshoot session. But I admit it was damn fun. I really had a relaxing time and had a great deal of fun. In that park, no matter how loud we talked and how gila we laughed, nobody knows. ^^ Ideal place for gathering for siau people like us.
With Chris. This moron loves to call me Muhammad, and last year she literally gave me a raya card COMPLETE WITH MALAY GREETINGS, JAWI AND A PICTURE OF ME EDITED WITH A TUDUNG AND KURUNG. !@#@$@$$&%&^*&^^%^$#%@ Today she freaked the shit out of me by giving me an invitation card which I mistakenly thought it was another raya card. lol!
Michelle the funny girl. We always have totally similar views over all things and today, the thing we held in common is Annie, our 'favorite' teacher who I swear I will give her a piece of my mind if I see her next time. Totally what the toot~
Yoong Sin my BFF I'd bitch everything to her and she will be all out to support me and give moderating views. First person there in times of troubles and there is literally NO SECRETS between us. Hugs! Was a waste her better half aka her twin Yoong Ling wasn't here and I'm damn sure she's all swearing and all. lol.
Some of the random weird shots.
Hui Ting: Muahahaha! I conquer the world!
Michelle: Eh, The photos damn dark okay?
Chris : Oi, you gorilla ke?
Yoong Sin: Yerrrrr.....I jadi photographer la.
Chris: Hui Ting, why your purse have to always be there?
Hui Ting: Where?
Chris: There la.
Hui Ting: *looks around and found it* OI! What la!
I do feel that this is one of the best reunions I've ever been for this holiday. Well, not my holiday but holiday in general. Instead of wasting time over food and whatsoever other activities we can focus more on each other and to take interest in their lives, and to also plan for the next outing. I do anticipate another like this. Definitely, meeting up is quite a pleasure, quite a pleasure =)
Friends Forever. I MEANT it.
Group photo in Secret Recipe. Before this, forgive me for the lousy quality of the photos taken because all were from phone's camera.
Desa Parkcity overlooking residential homes. (redundancy ain't =P)Check out the clouds. Damn nice. My ideal image of clouds, yeah like whatever.
Four jakuns. We took lotsa photos as if we were there for some photoshoot session. But I admit it was damn fun. I really had a relaxing time and had a great deal of fun. In that park, no matter how loud we talked and how gila we laughed, nobody knows. ^^ Ideal place for gathering for siau people like us.
With Chris. This moron loves to call me Muhammad, and last year she literally gave me a raya card COMPLETE WITH MALAY GREETINGS, JAWI AND A PICTURE OF ME EDITED WITH A TUDUNG AND KURUNG. !@#@$@$$&%&^*&^^%^$#%@ Today she freaked the shit out of me by giving me an invitation card which I mistakenly thought it was another raya card. lol!
Michelle the funny girl. We always have totally similar views over all things and today, the thing we held in common is Annie, our 'favorite' teacher who I swear I will give her a piece of my mind if I see her next time. Totally what the toot~
Yoong Sin my BFF I'd bitch everything to her and she will be all out to support me and give moderating views. First person there in times of troubles and there is literally NO SECRETS between us. Hugs! Was a waste her better half aka her twin Yoong Ling wasn't here and I'm damn sure she's all swearing and all. lol.
Some of the random weird shots.
Hui Ting: Muahahaha! I conquer the world!
Michelle: Eh, The photos damn dark okay?
Chris : Oi, you gorilla ke?
Yoong Sin: Yerrrrr.....I jadi photographer la.
Chris: Hui Ting, why your purse have to always be there?
Hui Ting: Where?
Chris: There la.
Hui Ting: *looks around and found it* OI! What la!
I do feel that this is one of the best reunions I've ever been for this holiday. Well, not my holiday but holiday in general. Instead of wasting time over food and whatsoever other activities we can focus more on each other and to take interest in their lives, and to also plan for the next outing. I do anticipate another like this. Definitely, meeting up is quite a pleasure, quite a pleasure =)
Friends Forever. I MEANT it.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Reunion With Form 6 Dudes
I went to Sg Wang's Greenbox again though I swore not to go to that freaking place again. I still don't understand what's so great about that place except for the well known saturation of lalas who shop for weird fashion in extremely cheap looking stores. Like whatever. Today was about meeting Form 6 friends because all of them with the exception of yours truly, are from public universities and are having their sem break after exams. I have a time test on OAPA tomorrow and I had not read a single thing and my mocks are on mid December. Temptations. Sheeeeesh!
It was of course good to meet up after so long. I do treasure friends a lot especially those who had shared a similar long term experience with me. It's kinda blessing I think, hence the sincere treasure and gratitude to maintain the relationship. For me, at least, friends are for life and in one way or another, we will need them in life either in career or casual. So fuck those who give unreasonable reasons for giving all kinda excuses like don't feeling like attending gatherings because they are kononnya motherfucka shy, my ASS. If the reasons is like reasonable and inevitable, fine. But I was told on my face by one idiot that the reason he didn't want to turn up is because he didn't want to see us. Like WTF. So basically I am just gonna stop persuading such ding dongs and let them rot in their self created fucked up pitiful situation, which obviously nobody gave a fucking damn. Really, it's too absurd.
After all the bitching, my point now XD
They gave us a really big room. Of all my karaoke sessions, I had never been into such a big room before. 20 can easily fit in.
Half of the twins and mua.
Everyone! =)
*
Yesterday I went over to the twins@best friends house and talked till 2am. It was so funny and all especially the Ahmad Zikri, Fifi, Mahendran and Fei Chai Najib part. Hokkien Tan lol. Laughed till tears flowed, literally. I finished half bakul of their organic rambutans and got my gums swollen the next morning. I am really happy they are back from Paris aka Perlis, which provides me a place for emotional refuge during these period of hectic events in my life.
So hugs! I am thankful. Don't worry bout the BEM thing. Remember that it's not about how others give chances. It's that you have to give yourself that chance. When God closes a door, he will open another window. Something like that la.
It was of course good to meet up after so long. I do treasure friends a lot especially those who had shared a similar long term experience with me. It's kinda blessing I think, hence the sincere treasure and gratitude to maintain the relationship. For me, at least, friends are for life and in one way or another, we will need them in life either in career or casual. So fuck those who give unreasonable reasons for giving all kinda excuses like don't feeling like attending gatherings because they are kononnya motherfucka shy, my ASS. If the reasons is like reasonable and inevitable, fine. But I was told on my face by one idiot that the reason he didn't want to turn up is because he didn't want to see us. Like WTF. So basically I am just gonna stop persuading such ding dongs and let them rot in their self created fucked up pitiful situation, which obviously nobody gave a fucking damn. Really, it's too absurd.
After all the bitching, my point now XD
They gave us a really big room. Of all my karaoke sessions, I had never been into such a big room before. 20 can easily fit in.
Half of the twins and mua.
Everyone! =)
*
Yesterday I went over to the twins@best friends house and talked till 2am. It was so funny and all especially the Ahmad Zikri, Fifi, Mahendran and Fei Chai Najib part. Hokkien Tan lol. Laughed till tears flowed, literally. I finished half bakul of their organic rambutans and got my gums swollen the next morning. I am really happy they are back from Paris aka Perlis, which provides me a place for emotional refuge during these period of hectic events in my life.
So hugs! I am thankful. Don't worry bout the BEM thing. Remember that it's not about how others give chances. It's that you have to give yourself that chance. When God closes a door, he will open another window. Something like that la.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
The Moot Post Mortem
I don't know how to properly say this. I had deleted so many entries again and again.
What happened this evening was, we lost the moot. I was upset and disappointed and it's totally normal to feel so, being we had already invested effort and time in it. Firstly, I was upset because I felt that my best wasn't good enough. I could do this better, and if I had lost in such circumstances, I would not be this disappointed. Albeit all the formal: " Never mind, you are already good. You did your best and take this as an experience." speech, I was hoping just anyone, anyone apart from my moot partner, to feel for me, to carry my emotions, and to understand how I had felt and why my disappointment was of such. Though you can say like: " Oh being upset is useless because you did lose." or " So what if you lose, buckle up and do better next year." I know that yes, I should stop mourning and whining about losing and start growing up. And yes, please also be understandable that the taste of failure isn't nice. It's more bitter than I've thought. I know that doing so wouldn't change anything. It is easier said than done. I thought I can be strong and I can move on. But I cannot. I felt I had let myself down, I had failed the expectations of my fellow peers, I had not been the best partner for my partner. I would want someone to feel me. Because I am tired in indulging in disappointment, nor I would like to hear anyone just saying how is this going to change anything. Yes, time would never rewind. I just need someone to hold my hand and tell me: "Yes, yes, this is bad. I understand this. Everything is gonna be fine. Everything is going to be okay." It's this simple, yet, nobody told me. No one.
Secondly I was upset because I felt there was no one there to console me after I had lost. This may be a very selfish thought, but regardless, I felt unappreciated and unimportant at that very moment. I was upset and I was unhappy, and people can be worrying about lunch and company and whatever else. Taking no notice of my feelings. I needed attention and I received none. And of all assistance that I had paid, I get no favour in return. I am not demanding for anything else, just a moment of company, a little bit more attention could had made me felt better. But I was subsidiary as lunch was so important at that time. Like whatever. Perhaps I may be sounding all fucked up but insensitivity is intolerable this time. I was furious and I was on verge of tears. Maybe people may think I can sort this out, I am independent but in times like this, I need assurance and encouragement and all that I know was being let down by people, again and again. This moot is very important to me, and yet, being so insensitive here, it's like, sigh. Things would have be better if something more was done. I wouldn't be feeling so sucky right now with this total fucked up mood right now. I would have known, I would have been consoled, encouraged, appreciated, recognised and respected. All I know now is that I am alone, moping round a fallen battle, unseen and unknown.
Nobody likes the feeling of failure. I will be better and I will be mooting next year, definitely. I would be better and more prepared. This mooting journey had set me and my partner in a roller coaster ride of a near litigation experience, really, one heck of an experience. I grew and I learned in the process. I gained an experience like no one else, I do thank God for showing the way as always. Sue Ann, my moot partner for everything. Cai Lee, Mich, Pek Kwan, Henry for encouragement and advices, and listening to me rant. Fellow mooting teams for everything. Some people here and there for help and support. I have realised one thing that, in anything I do, I have to give in my best and regardless the results, I would be glad because the journey was a fulfilling one. For now, I can concentrate back on my studies again and yes, I'm so gonna do this again.
What happened this evening was, we lost the moot. I was upset and disappointed and it's totally normal to feel so, being we had already invested effort and time in it. Firstly, I was upset because I felt that my best wasn't good enough. I could do this better, and if I had lost in such circumstances, I would not be this disappointed. Albeit all the formal: " Never mind, you are already good. You did your best and take this as an experience." speech, I was hoping just anyone, anyone apart from my moot partner, to feel for me, to carry my emotions, and to understand how I had felt and why my disappointment was of such. Though you can say like: " Oh being upset is useless because you did lose." or " So what if you lose, buckle up and do better next year." I know that yes, I should stop mourning and whining about losing and start growing up. And yes, please also be understandable that the taste of failure isn't nice. It's more bitter than I've thought. I know that doing so wouldn't change anything. It is easier said than done. I thought I can be strong and I can move on. But I cannot. I felt I had let myself down, I had failed the expectations of my fellow peers, I had not been the best partner for my partner. I would want someone to feel me. Because I am tired in indulging in disappointment, nor I would like to hear anyone just saying how is this going to change anything. Yes, time would never rewind. I just need someone to hold my hand and tell me: "Yes, yes, this is bad. I understand this. Everything is gonna be fine. Everything is going to be okay." It's this simple, yet, nobody told me. No one.
Secondly I was upset because I felt there was no one there to console me after I had lost. This may be a very selfish thought, but regardless, I felt unappreciated and unimportant at that very moment. I was upset and I was unhappy, and people can be worrying about lunch and company and whatever else. Taking no notice of my feelings. I needed attention and I received none. And of all assistance that I had paid, I get no favour in return. I am not demanding for anything else, just a moment of company, a little bit more attention could had made me felt better. But I was subsidiary as lunch was so important at that time. Like whatever. Perhaps I may be sounding all fucked up but insensitivity is intolerable this time. I was furious and I was on verge of tears. Maybe people may think I can sort this out, I am independent but in times like this, I need assurance and encouragement and all that I know was being let down by people, again and again. This moot is very important to me, and yet, being so insensitive here, it's like, sigh. Things would have be better if something more was done. I wouldn't be feeling so sucky right now with this total fucked up mood right now. I would have known, I would have been consoled, encouraged, appreciated, recognised and respected. All I know now is that I am alone, moping round a fallen battle, unseen and unknown.
Nobody likes the feeling of failure. I will be better and I will be mooting next year, definitely. I would be better and more prepared. This mooting journey had set me and my partner in a roller coaster ride of a near litigation experience, really, one heck of an experience. I grew and I learned in the process. I gained an experience like no one else, I do thank God for showing the way as always. Sue Ann, my moot partner for everything. Cai Lee, Mich, Pek Kwan, Henry for encouragement and advices, and listening to me rant. Fellow mooting teams for everything. Some people here and there for help and support. I have realised one thing that, in anything I do, I have to give in my best and regardless the results, I would be glad because the journey was a fulfilling one. For now, I can concentrate back on my studies again and yes, I'm so gonna do this again.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Sunday SPS and Shopping
I always wonder why they have classes on Sundays because it is obvious that no one wants to attend but anyway I attended, late for an hour and flustered from top to toe, still in yesterday night's sleep top and hair tied with a pasar rubber band. Room 3MN was extremely cold and I ended up sleeping behind there with a pile of tissues stuck in my nostrils. Those minutes where I was awake was spent playing Pac Man on my Iphone.
Random picture taken from my seat at the back during Common Law. Was kinda pilot test for my Iphone's camera.
Then I'm off to Times Square after lunch to meet with Xuan dear. She came back from Sarawak for her sem break.
Me, IPhone baby, Xuan dear.
And we ate like nobody's business.
First at Room Eighteen.
Xuan with Sai Mai Lou whatever la.
Me with xut shan fei wu.
Yay!
Second destination. Sweet Chat.
Smiles =)
Another one with smiles =)
Food makes us smile hahahahaha!
Xuan dear gave me kek lapis, some kinda local food from Sarawak. Niceeeee! I am extremely happy for the fact now everyone who I love dearly is back in KL and it only means: PARTY!! Twins are already back as well as Zi Qin and most of Maxwell dudes. Life has just gone better, for me at least. =)
Nyah~
Random picture taken from my seat at the back during Common Law. Was kinda pilot test for my Iphone's camera.
Then I'm off to Times Square after lunch to meet with Xuan dear. She came back from Sarawak for her sem break.
Me, IPhone baby, Xuan dear.
And we ate like nobody's business.
First at Room Eighteen.
Xuan with Sai Mai Lou whatever la.
Me with xut shan fei wu.
Yay!
Second destination. Sweet Chat.
Smiles =)
Another one with smiles =)
Food makes us smile hahahahaha!
Xuan dear gave me kek lapis, some kinda local food from Sarawak. Niceeeee! I am extremely happy for the fact now everyone who I love dearly is back in KL and it only means: PARTY!! Twins are already back as well as Zi Qin and most of Maxwell dudes. Life has just gone better, for me at least. =)
Nyah~
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