Saturday, February 28, 2009

So Yesterday

I was listening to the radio when Bleeding Love came to the tune. So, kinda reminisced those days when I was banging my head because STPM was around the corner, having study groups all over the place and revising like mad.

Location A: Coffee Bean at Desa Parkcity

Used to have group study before Maths tuition and it would be like 5 or 6 hours of work in a row. Sometimes, upon nervous breakdown, we'll go out for a walk to chill and relax. After too much coffee and air-cond will leave us excited and we'll keep swearing loudly as the tension increases.

Scene: Raining
SP: Walau, a lot man!
HT: Diamlah, like I don't know.
YS: If there's a rain like that after STPM, I wouldn't hesitate to drench myself.
YL: If STPM ever ends. Man, I would have stood and let the rain pour on me.
SP: I would have screamed in the rain.
HT: I don't care. After STPM we would come back here and sit one day here, doing everything, except studying.

Shin Peih and me would plug our MP4 players on and shut down form the outside world. Yoong Sin and Ling likes to complain about the lighting. Too romantic for studies, they say.. LOL

Going there once again after STPM was superb. Just sit and talk. Short and sweet, no books attached. LOL

New Year's eve at Coffee Bean@ DPC.

Location B: Starbucks Kepong
Happens to be the only Starbucks of the perimeter. The next nearest one would be in Jalan Tun Ismail (which is PWTC) or One Utama. Normally we would combine a few tables and poured over books. It started to be a spot when Shin Peih and I group studied Biology. And it expanded to studying Chemistry and even PA. And even Michelle joined us when we were discussing about Inheritance and Genetics. The barista knew us quite well. =P

The very day after STPM, I went there alone to pamper myself a session without studies. So, proven....=D=D=D


Location C: McD
Due to the unlimited refills and comparatively cheaper price, it would be a perfect spot. The only drawback was: too much noise. Usually I would go alone in the mornings and only join a group in the afternoon. Then back during the evenings. So it would be like 4 to 5 refills of coffee every visit.

And too high to sleep and relax when I get home. Bad caffeine. Remember there was once where Zi Qin and I were studying 12 hours non stop of Organic Chemistry. 10 to 10. We almost became saints on that day. XD

no photos though.

Gone were the days of STPM, and HELLO UNIVERSITY LIFE! STPM is indeed a very tough path to choose. Those who had walked it, I salute your courage. After the exam, I really really missed school life and I wished that I was back in school, fighting for a goal and a purpose. Not just living day by day here waiting for nothing.

Results will be out. Wish me luck eh? =)

Thursday, February 26, 2009


Disclaimer: The story is a fiction based on the author's own inspiration and creation. All characters in the post are purely fictional and the happenings in the story are not based on true events.


He opened the door only to receive a surprise. In his heart, it was a pleasing one. She stood by the doorstep, looking just like last time.

"Come on in. What's up?" he causally asked.

"Well, there's been such a long time since we had talked," she replied, flinging herself to the vacant loveseat. "I kinda missed you."

He kept his eyes fixed at the walls as he closed the door of his apartment. A long silence fell. Cars honked and dogs barked outside the apartment.

"Well," he begun, a knot on his throat, as he enunciated his words with difficulty, "we had not even met, let alone talked."

He took his seat and glanced back at her. She had her eyes shut and was concentrating with big effort. Tilting her head a little, she spoke:

"It's okay. Let's not talk about the past," she opened her eyes and stared into his, "It doesn't matter anymore, we were kinda idiots and childish that time."

She seem relaxed. He loosen his grip and felt that he was also, actually smiling in a sheepish way. She caught his eye and laughed a little.

"Well, I guess that's so much for being friends. We forgive and forget." she said.

"You forgot me, I thought," he begun, his sentence hanging in mid conversation. He looked at her, as she waved her hand, stretching,

"It's impossible for me to forget you," she crossed her legs and leaned forward.

"Friends forever."

He stood on the exact spot since she had left fifteen minutes ago. His eyes lingered over the empty photo frames piled up messily on the corner of the apartment, dust covered and forgotten. Those frames once captured the memories that he could never again dared to pursue. His left hand clutching the unfinished bottle of margarita, he gulped down with one swallow. As he staggered into his bed, his head kept replaying the words she said then:

"Friends forever."


She pulled her cardigan across her face against the strong night wind. Looking up, she saw something just beautiful in contrast of her whole day: A full moon, bright and a flawless circle, illuminating the night sky. Her long hair danced in the wind as she closed her eyes to rejoice herself under the moonlight.

A tear fell.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Many waters cannot quench love; rivers cannot wash it away.

It's a perfect day to get married, I shall say. Weather conditions are awesome and my mood is cheerful. (as if I am getting married LOL) Today is the auspicious day of Dr. Chan Kok Gan and Ms. Yin Wai Fong's wedding, the holy matrimony of two educators. Both Ms. Yin and Dr. Chan had been my Biology tuition teachers, and Dr. Chan is a lecturer at Universiti Malaya while Ms. Yin runs a tuition centre. I should say that both of them looks perfect for each other, and it's a blessing for me to witness them tying the knot. Actually I got a shock when Yan Yan told me that they're going to marry. But since they invited us (their ex students) to the wedding, well, why not?

So the day started with me worrying what to wear. So, I wore a simple skirt with a brown top with 3-inch-heels. Well, I pretty regretted wearing the stupid heels because I hardly can walk fast in it. And it pains too!

Actually I wanted to wear contacts but somehow in the morning, I can't open my eyes big enough to chuck in the lenses. So if I wear glasses just forget about mascara. =D

Zhi Ling drove us there and I have to say, I have not met her in such a long time. So kinda missed her a lot and when I saw her today, I was very happy to see her doing fine in college. Well, at least she has a good life now. Yan Yan and Si Jia are also close friends of mine who I have not met them since errr...last year? I was extremely excited to meet them once again, and we crapped about Yan Yan's cartoon voice and Si Jia's fear of cats and valentine's day as we drove our way to PJ.

The very syokked driver, Lim Zhi Ling.

The blasting passengers: Yan, me, Jia.

We reached First Baptist Church to see a small crowd there. So says that Dr. Chan just wish to hold a small and private wedding ceremony, just inviting close friends, family and students. Hence there were a lot of UM students around too. So as usual, while waiting, just camwhored like mad.

The foursome.

There were other students of Dr. Chan too, just an age younger than us. Yoong Yong and Phiak Ling.

Actually there were more juniors of us but they were busy because they were a part of the choir.

Firstly there was the wedding processional. The bride, which is Ms. Yin, walked down the aisle, given away by her father. Well, she did looked extremely pretty.

The waiting groom, aka Dr. Chan. With Pastor Tan.

Well, Dr. Chan did look very busy today. Seems like he had a lot of stuff to do. Cannot even catch a picture of him standing still. LOL

Afterwards there were prayers, worship in songs, scripture reading and a message by Pastor Tan.

The choir: Be Thou My Vision, Joyful Joyful We Adore Thee

Pastor giving the message. A lot of 1 Corinthians 13.

After that, the scene we always see in movies: The exchanging of vows, aka the I do, I do part. Then, exchanging of rings. They bought the rings in Paris man!

Signing the Marriage Register.

After benediction and the wedding recessional, we were treated some refreshments, so, the wedding ceremony ends. I was expecting for Ms. Yin to throw the bouquet of flowers for us to catch, well, seems like I was anticipating the wrong thing.

But I did manage to capture a photo with them! But I looked like shit. Well, who cares anyway?

Lastly I would like to say: Congratulations Dr. and Mrs. Chan for tying the knot. May your love last forever, united in marriage.

PS: The wedding ceremony was very touching. And it just showed me how brave people can be if they dare to love and be loved. They are willing to commit themselves to each another by marriage, till death do us apart...

Another thing Pastor Tan said I felt very true:"...your wedding lasts for a day, but your marriage lasts forever..."


DesaPark City Coffee Bean later with the girls to catch up with the latest gossips. So hence, talked a lot, drank a lot, and was definitely happy with the company.

Loving Coffeebean a lot. Reminiscing about the past where we used to come here to do our study groups. The tension, the mood, the workload. It's all over now. Left my soul with a blank space, never going to be fulfilled.

Love ya girls!

Sunday, February 15, 2009


Cause we belong together now
Forever united here somehow
You've got a piece of me
And honestly
My life would suck without you.
~ My Life Would Suck Without You (Kelly Clarkson)

Shout-out to all friends:

Distance and time shall not be the reason for us not preserving this friendship. You guys were there for me, whether sharing the joy or the pain. I appreciate you all forever. This year, my valentine's dedication goes out to all my friends who I happen to meet in my life. You know I love you.

Happy valentine's Day.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

A Private Person

I am a private person.
I find peace in silence and ignorance.

You're like an Indian summer
In the middle of winter
Like a hard candy
With a surprise center
~Katy Perry (Thinking of You)

*I felt something heavy on my chest, a burden of emotions with mental fatigue. I forced myself to refrain myself from the pain, control my feelings, let go all emotions. I failed miserably while trying to make myself a better person. I judge myself according to my own principles and I know that I'm far from perfect. I will never let go as long as I hold on to my own perceptions. I am a loser in my own world, a fool in my own eyes. Knowing that what I had already lost would never return to my possession, why I am disappointed all over? Why do I seek forgiveness instead of courage? Why do I lose my self esteem instead of my pride?

Honestly, I had moved on, but some wounds need time to heal. And if they do, it will definitely leave scars.

PS: Thank you for spending time with me. I appreciated it. You know who you are.

Oh okay, this part is exclusively for you Matthew Chang, as you had gave me the permission and acted that you don't care if I posted your picture on my blog. HAHA!

So this is basically a photo he REQUESTED me to take because he felt syok sendiri as I was more interested to take the picture of the chips rather than him. LOL. Hey just joking don't be offended. But again, to warn you Matt, NO PICTURES OF ME ONLINE, KAY? =D

And yeah, to mention that he accompanied me to find books at bookstores, well, so I think that it was boring to him. SO sorry. And we actually did not expect the place to be so booked up. So ended up eating something not-very-nice-to-me-but-it's-okay-I-don't-care at Secret Recipe. Duh. Anyway, I am very happy to be out of the house, and to meet with some new friends. Something I'm extremely happy, he actually complimented about my English, as for a Chinese educated person, he reckons that I can speak fairly well, and had splendid usage of written language. Self-Obsessed me huh? LOL. (PS: MUET speaking test I got 42 upon 45, so, see. XD)

And this budak is doing Bangsar Drift all the way in the freeways. And says that he is not reckless. Oh God.

Conclusion of the day: All Protons have the same problem. The driver's window always cannot be winded up automatically.

And later that night, went mamaking with the Twins and Shin Peih. We just screamed at the mamak as if nobody cared. LOL

This year's Valentine's Day is so different. Next year? LOL. Shall anticipate it.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

So Emo

The aura of the night was discouraging. Bleak darkness ahead, with the accompaniment of the drizzle of the previous rainfall. Cool leaves rustled in the rusty wind. A single star was nowhere to be seen.

Then, out of a sudden. There was it. A galore of fireworks. Blasting on the night sky, illuminating the lost clouds which were shrouded in utter darkness. The sparks of lines sketching upon the skies, like flowers blossoming during spring. The loud continuous blasts deafened my hearing temporarily, though, keeping my heart calm to ponder my thoughts.

I had to agree, these few months had been really difficult for me. I had yet lost so much, failed so much and so frequently that I feared and shrunk all my self esteem to the lowest point that I could not believe. I had been tough to eliminate my fears, but it had caused me to lose my pride.

I am a self-conscious person. my pride is my everything. Yet, I had lost it, because of you...

Tell me how to feel good about that? Emotions are but child's play, portraying what one feel, that simple, that innocent, yet, I cannot. I cannot.

You have to forgive me, because this is me.

The galore stopped abruptly as it had started. Like flowers, they die one day when their life comes to an end, so do us, ignorant mortals.

Friday, February 6, 2009

My Teaching Job

Today marks the last day of my temporary teacher's job at Sekolah Sri Bestari. I've been carrying the title as MISS HEE (cough, cough) for one month, exactly one month and phew, just everybody stand up and feel the weirdness of people addressing you as a teacher...

Ask the question:
1.Why teacher?
Education runs in the blood of my family. I've got a private tutor mum (part time), an aunt who runs a kindergarten, cousins who teaches music and tuition, an uncle who is a retired principal, an uncle who runs a music centre...And besides, I've heard that after Form 6, if you apply to be a teacher, you enjoy a lot of benefits such as short working hours and abundant holidays in line. And plus the pay is expected to be high. Plus teaching is no stranger to me. I've been a tuition teacher and kindergarten teacher before.

2. Why Sekolah Sri Besatri?
Ask why private school instead of Chinese Government schools, because you know that Chinese Schools pay high salary. And it seems from centuries ago there is always been shortage for teachers. Well, I did apply for Government school as GSTT but too bad the school doesn't want me (for whatever reason). And it's a myth that says that there's a constant shortage of teachers because almost every school we've asked had already enough teachers. And they do not pay high, because as a GSTT, the money is fixed by the government not the school, approximately 1200 per month plus benefits (EPF, SOSCO, Medical panel). Well, looks inviting, but they did not hire me. Therefore I went SSB since they need a Temporary teacher. (Note: Temporary teacher and GSTT are different in the case that the former gets daily wages without benefits while the latter gets monthly pay with benefits)

3. The job?
PJK: Go feild. Run, pant, sweat. (go back office makan)
English: Scream at 4C. (go back office with sore throat)
Mandarin: Copy on board. Read, mark exercise. (go back office type Daily Lesson Plan)
Computer: Distribute task, sit down, shake legs. (go back office shake legs again)
Maths: Rush 2A and 3C to hurry up. (go back office mark books)
*between lessons there're a lot of free blank periods for me to sit and online, read books, magazines, listen to music. I don't understand why other teachers were so busy, but I seem pretty relaxed, even with the workload.

4. The pay?
RM70 per day. Working hours is from 8 to 4.

5. The environment?
Okay. I was very furious at first when I arrived that they did not have a table for me and gave me the reason that I've reported in late. I just merely think that they just want to save the trouble of preparing the table for me because I am temporary. SHEESH...UNFAIR! So for the first two weeks I was really grumpy and in a bad mood because I'm in an nonconducting environment, and HELLO, how am I supposed to perform well?

They gave me this table at first. The shared printer table. And I had a book's free space, and ten people asking me to tumpang lalu every ten minutes.

Then, they shifted me here. The cutter and laminating table. And this is better because Paramjit talks with me all the time, but I still hated the minimum space.

Finally, Kok, the teacher I'm replacing came back. So they beria-ia found one desk for her. (sarcastic-nya. As if I'm not a teacher), so I sat on her place for a day. Eventhough it's in front of the main switch, but it's secluded, and privacy is excellent. Darn I enjoyed one day of peace there~

Then, upon Kok's return, I was shifted to another table, Lee's table, the teacher I replaced for one week. And that's the table I sat until today.

Nay~I'm not demanding too much. I'm okay with the job, the demand, the workload, the responsibility. Anything. Just, show some respect and appreciation for your teachers. By showing her the care and rights she ought to have. Even she's temporary~

6. The students?
They're just kids. Even the Year 6 ones are just kids, even they insist that they've already grown up. (or they think they've already grown up) Session 1 students are better because you can just scare them using scoldings and threatening them with their parents or the principal, or in rare cases, the police...LOL. Session 2 are more difficult because they don't give a damn about what you scream because they know you can do nothing to them. So have to use a lot of psychological approach.

The Year 2 kids I taught.

7. The school?
Okay. Let picture say.

The lockers in the class. The table there is just a student's place where he forgot to bring his book(3 times in a row), so I blasted on the spot and pulled him together with his seat and told him to sit at the back of the classroom for the remaining of the lesson.



School compound.

8. The staff?

They're nice people who are easy going and fun. Because most of the teachers are young and there will be no much generation gap. So actually I can talk about almost anything with most of them. Even I regard myself as very quiet there, but I do like their presence as they gave me a lot of guidance and advices about anything: duties, teaching methods, career prospects...So nice. Well, I do sure will miss them.

One of them gave me chocolates to farewell me. I gave her my telephone number.
Evil me right? But I lub all the teachers there!

So today, my last day, just have a glimpse of everything.

My table: always with a mug, a stack of books, and my MP4 player. I'm known as ulat buku there. And a photo of my friends, just to remind me that, I'm not alone in this working world.

The stack of activity books I have been marking for 2 days. Dozed off and marked wrongly...even marked the teacher's copy by accident.

Whack the table until the feather duster turned U shape.

Punch card. Everytime balik sure have a line there to punch out asap.

I sure will miss there a lot~

Sunday, February 1, 2009

In The Air

Boon Fei, A Fa, Yee Toong and Darryl met up with me today with the intention of having dinner and watching movies at Jusco Kepong. But sadly the place was quite booked up. So we ended up watching Bride Wars at GSC One Utama and having dinner at TGIF. Though we ate three sets of a three-course menu we felt extremely full.

Bride Wars was not bad. At least it was funny. Darryl kept laughing and then he accused me of my laughter causing him to laugh. How dare you! =D But after so long I had never met them, catching up with their life is pretty eventful. I just missed them very much. Later they came to my house to take angpau. =D Boon Fei's car have a major problem with his doors and windows...Just, tak boleh buka! =D

Next time go yumcha again!