I couldn't agree more with the verse an idle mind is the devil's workshop. True that I spent an entire afternoon formulating weird fantasies about the future in my mind, being that I have nothing better to do and there is not a single soul with me. I always thought myself as a decent being, but earthly temptations change people for the worse and in the end you wail upon God for forgiveness and relying on faith to change you for the better but in fact the little man in you kept seducing your soul to indulge in temporary happiness with the fact you know it being sweet in this moment and would turn bitter in the next. But why still people commit them when they know for the fact they are evil? Why temptations are temporary yet seductive enough to make man sell their sold out in exchange for a breath of momentary joy, and such joy betrays eternity, allowing loathsome regret for lifetime. How does it feel to burn in eternal fire? And how long is eternity? How can man sell his soul for earthly pleasures with mind that eternal flames shall burn his flesh? How can people let evil reign? How could they sell their soul?
I pray for God to save them, they are lost, fallen and blinded. May His love save them all, may His grace rescue them. May truth and only God's word rule the world. I pray for a better world. I admit I was troubled and beyond disturbed, and my heart tears for those who turned away from the correct way. I am weak and ruthless, let God work miracles.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Friday, November 27, 2009
Park People
After a very fulfilling lunch at Secret Recipe plus a random lepak session which was aimless, totally, Michelle came out with a brilliant idea of strolling the park at Desa Parkcity. It was quite some time since I've gone there. Used to be a very regular customer at Coffee Bean over there due to study groups during times of Form Six. Ah the memories.
Group photo in Secret Recipe. Before this, forgive me for the lousy quality of the photos taken because all were from phone's camera.
Desa Parkcity overlooking residential homes. (redundancy ain't =P)Check out the clouds. Damn nice. My ideal image of clouds, yeah like whatever.
Four jakuns. We took lotsa photos as if we were there for some photoshoot session. But I admit it was damn fun. I really had a relaxing time and had a great deal of fun. In that park, no matter how loud we talked and how gila we laughed, nobody knows. ^^ Ideal place for gathering for siau people like us.
With Chris. This moron loves to call me Muhammad, and last year she literally gave me a raya card COMPLETE WITH MALAY GREETINGS, JAWI AND A PICTURE OF ME EDITED WITH A TUDUNG AND KURUNG. !@#@$@$$&%&^*&^^%^$#%@ Today she freaked the shit out of me by giving me an invitation card which I mistakenly thought it was another raya card. lol!
Michelle the funny girl. We always have totally similar views over all things and today, the thing we held in common is Annie, our 'favorite' teacher who I swear I will give her a piece of my mind if I see her next time. Totally what the toot~
Yoong Sin my BFF I'd bitch everything to her and she will be all out to support me and give moderating views. First person there in times of troubles and there is literally NO SECRETS between us. Hugs! Was a waste her better half aka her twin Yoong Ling wasn't here and I'm damn sure she's all swearing and all. lol.
Some of the random weird shots.
Hui Ting: Muahahaha! I conquer the world!
Michelle: Eh, The photos damn dark okay?
Chris : Oi, you gorilla ke?
Yoong Sin: Yerrrrr.....I jadi photographer la.
Chris: Hui Ting, why your purse have to always be there?
Hui Ting: Where?
Chris: There la.
Hui Ting: *looks around and found it* OI! What la!
I do feel that this is one of the best reunions I've ever been for this holiday. Well, not my holiday but holiday in general. Instead of wasting time over food and whatsoever other activities we can focus more on each other and to take interest in their lives, and to also plan for the next outing. I do anticipate another like this. Definitely, meeting up is quite a pleasure, quite a pleasure =)
Friends Forever. I MEANT it.
Group photo in Secret Recipe. Before this, forgive me for the lousy quality of the photos taken because all were from phone's camera.
Desa Parkcity overlooking residential homes. (redundancy ain't =P)Check out the clouds. Damn nice. My ideal image of clouds, yeah like whatever.
Four jakuns. We took lotsa photos as if we were there for some photoshoot session. But I admit it was damn fun. I really had a relaxing time and had a great deal of fun. In that park, no matter how loud we talked and how gila we laughed, nobody knows. ^^ Ideal place for gathering for siau people like us.
With Chris. This moron loves to call me Muhammad, and last year she literally gave me a raya card COMPLETE WITH MALAY GREETINGS, JAWI AND A PICTURE OF ME EDITED WITH A TUDUNG AND KURUNG. !@#@$@$$&%&^*&^^%^$#%@ Today she freaked the shit out of me by giving me an invitation card which I mistakenly thought it was another raya card. lol!
Michelle the funny girl. We always have totally similar views over all things and today, the thing we held in common is Annie, our 'favorite' teacher who I swear I will give her a piece of my mind if I see her next time. Totally what the toot~
Yoong Sin my BFF I'd bitch everything to her and she will be all out to support me and give moderating views. First person there in times of troubles and there is literally NO SECRETS between us. Hugs! Was a waste her better half aka her twin Yoong Ling wasn't here and I'm damn sure she's all swearing and all. lol.
Some of the random weird shots.
Hui Ting: Muahahaha! I conquer the world!
Michelle: Eh, The photos damn dark okay?
Chris : Oi, you gorilla ke?
Yoong Sin: Yerrrrr.....I jadi photographer la.
Chris: Hui Ting, why your purse have to always be there?
Hui Ting: Where?
Chris: There la.
Hui Ting: *looks around and found it* OI! What la!
I do feel that this is one of the best reunions I've ever been for this holiday. Well, not my holiday but holiday in general. Instead of wasting time over food and whatsoever other activities we can focus more on each other and to take interest in their lives, and to also plan for the next outing. I do anticipate another like this. Definitely, meeting up is quite a pleasure, quite a pleasure =)
Friends Forever. I MEANT it.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
Reunion With Form 6 Dudes
I went to Sg Wang's Greenbox again though I swore not to go to that freaking place again. I still don't understand what's so great about that place except for the well known saturation of lalas who shop for weird fashion in extremely cheap looking stores. Like whatever. Today was about meeting Form 6 friends because all of them with the exception of yours truly, are from public universities and are having their sem break after exams. I have a time test on OAPA tomorrow and I had not read a single thing and my mocks are on mid December. Temptations. Sheeeeesh!
It was of course good to meet up after so long. I do treasure friends a lot especially those who had shared a similar long term experience with me. It's kinda blessing I think, hence the sincere treasure and gratitude to maintain the relationship. For me, at least, friends are for life and in one way or another, we will need them in life either in career or casual. So fuck those who give unreasonable reasons for giving all kinda excuses like don't feeling like attending gatherings because they are kononnya motherfucka shy, my ASS. If the reasons is like reasonable and inevitable, fine. But I was told on my face by one idiot that the reason he didn't want to turn up is because he didn't want to see us. Like WTF. So basically I am just gonna stop persuading such ding dongs and let them rot in their self created fucked up pitiful situation, which obviously nobody gave a fucking damn. Really, it's too absurd.
After all the bitching, my point now XD
They gave us a really big room. Of all my karaoke sessions, I had never been into such a big room before. 20 can easily fit in.
Half of the twins and mua.
Everyone! =)
*
Yesterday I went over to the twins@best friends house and talked till 2am. It was so funny and all especially the Ahmad Zikri, Fifi, Mahendran and Fei Chai Najib part. Hokkien Tan lol. Laughed till tears flowed, literally. I finished half bakul of their organic rambutans and got my gums swollen the next morning. I am really happy they are back from Paris aka Perlis, which provides me a place for emotional refuge during these period of hectic events in my life.
So hugs! I am thankful. Don't worry bout the BEM thing. Remember that it's not about how others give chances. It's that you have to give yourself that chance. When God closes a door, he will open another window. Something like that la.
It was of course good to meet up after so long. I do treasure friends a lot especially those who had shared a similar long term experience with me. It's kinda blessing I think, hence the sincere treasure and gratitude to maintain the relationship. For me, at least, friends are for life and in one way or another, we will need them in life either in career or casual. So fuck those who give unreasonable reasons for giving all kinda excuses like don't feeling like attending gatherings because they are kononnya motherfucka shy, my ASS. If the reasons is like reasonable and inevitable, fine. But I was told on my face by one idiot that the reason he didn't want to turn up is because he didn't want to see us. Like WTF. So basically I am just gonna stop persuading such ding dongs and let them rot in their self created fucked up pitiful situation, which obviously nobody gave a fucking damn. Really, it's too absurd.
After all the bitching, my point now XD
They gave us a really big room. Of all my karaoke sessions, I had never been into such a big room before. 20 can easily fit in.
Half of the twins and mua.
Everyone! =)
*
Yesterday I went over to the twins@best friends house and talked till 2am. It was so funny and all especially the Ahmad Zikri, Fifi, Mahendran and Fei Chai Najib part. Hokkien Tan lol. Laughed till tears flowed, literally. I finished half bakul of their organic rambutans and got my gums swollen the next morning. I am really happy they are back from Paris aka Perlis, which provides me a place for emotional refuge during these period of hectic events in my life.
So hugs! I am thankful. Don't worry bout the BEM thing. Remember that it's not about how others give chances. It's that you have to give yourself that chance. When God closes a door, he will open another window. Something like that la.
Saturday, November 21, 2009
The Moot Post Mortem
I don't know how to properly say this. I had deleted so many entries again and again.
What happened this evening was, we lost the moot. I was upset and disappointed and it's totally normal to feel so, being we had already invested effort and time in it. Firstly, I was upset because I felt that my best wasn't good enough. I could do this better, and if I had lost in such circumstances, I would not be this disappointed. Albeit all the formal: " Never mind, you are already good. You did your best and take this as an experience." speech, I was hoping just anyone, anyone apart from my moot partner, to feel for me, to carry my emotions, and to understand how I had felt and why my disappointment was of such. Though you can say like: " Oh being upset is useless because you did lose." or " So what if you lose, buckle up and do better next year." I know that yes, I should stop mourning and whining about losing and start growing up. And yes, please also be understandable that the taste of failure isn't nice. It's more bitter than I've thought. I know that doing so wouldn't change anything. It is easier said than done. I thought I can be strong and I can move on. But I cannot. I felt I had let myself down, I had failed the expectations of my fellow peers, I had not been the best partner for my partner. I would want someone to feel me. Because I am tired in indulging in disappointment, nor I would like to hear anyone just saying how is this going to change anything. Yes, time would never rewind. I just need someone to hold my hand and tell me: "Yes, yes, this is bad. I understand this. Everything is gonna be fine. Everything is going to be okay." It's this simple, yet, nobody told me. No one.
Secondly I was upset because I felt there was no one there to console me after I had lost. This may be a very selfish thought, but regardless, I felt unappreciated and unimportant at that very moment. I was upset and I was unhappy, and people can be worrying about lunch and company and whatever else. Taking no notice of my feelings. I needed attention and I received none. And of all assistance that I had paid, I get no favour in return. I am not demanding for anything else, just a moment of company, a little bit more attention could had made me felt better. But I was subsidiary as lunch was so important at that time. Like whatever. Perhaps I may be sounding all fucked up but insensitivity is intolerable this time. I was furious and I was on verge of tears. Maybe people may think I can sort this out, I am independent but in times like this, I need assurance and encouragement and all that I know was being let down by people, again and again. This moot is very important to me, and yet, being so insensitive here, it's like, sigh. Things would have be better if something more was done. I wouldn't be feeling so sucky right now with this total fucked up mood right now. I would have known, I would have been consoled, encouraged, appreciated, recognised and respected. All I know now is that I am alone, moping round a fallen battle, unseen and unknown.
Nobody likes the feeling of failure. I will be better and I will be mooting next year, definitely. I would be better and more prepared. This mooting journey had set me and my partner in a roller coaster ride of a near litigation experience, really, one heck of an experience. I grew and I learned in the process. I gained an experience like no one else, I do thank God for showing the way as always. Sue Ann, my moot partner for everything. Cai Lee, Mich, Pek Kwan, Henry for encouragement and advices, and listening to me rant. Fellow mooting teams for everything. Some people here and there for help and support. I have realised one thing that, in anything I do, I have to give in my best and regardless the results, I would be glad because the journey was a fulfilling one. For now, I can concentrate back on my studies again and yes, I'm so gonna do this again.
What happened this evening was, we lost the moot. I was upset and disappointed and it's totally normal to feel so, being we had already invested effort and time in it. Firstly, I was upset because I felt that my best wasn't good enough. I could do this better, and if I had lost in such circumstances, I would not be this disappointed. Albeit all the formal: " Never mind, you are already good. You did your best and take this as an experience." speech, I was hoping just anyone, anyone apart from my moot partner, to feel for me, to carry my emotions, and to understand how I had felt and why my disappointment was of such. Though you can say like: " Oh being upset is useless because you did lose." or " So what if you lose, buckle up and do better next year." I know that yes, I should stop mourning and whining about losing and start growing up. And yes, please also be understandable that the taste of failure isn't nice. It's more bitter than I've thought. I know that doing so wouldn't change anything. It is easier said than done. I thought I can be strong and I can move on. But I cannot. I felt I had let myself down, I had failed the expectations of my fellow peers, I had not been the best partner for my partner. I would want someone to feel me. Because I am tired in indulging in disappointment, nor I would like to hear anyone just saying how is this going to change anything. Yes, time would never rewind. I just need someone to hold my hand and tell me: "Yes, yes, this is bad. I understand this. Everything is gonna be fine. Everything is going to be okay." It's this simple, yet, nobody told me. No one.
Secondly I was upset because I felt there was no one there to console me after I had lost. This may be a very selfish thought, but regardless, I felt unappreciated and unimportant at that very moment. I was upset and I was unhappy, and people can be worrying about lunch and company and whatever else. Taking no notice of my feelings. I needed attention and I received none. And of all assistance that I had paid, I get no favour in return. I am not demanding for anything else, just a moment of company, a little bit more attention could had made me felt better. But I was subsidiary as lunch was so important at that time. Like whatever. Perhaps I may be sounding all fucked up but insensitivity is intolerable this time. I was furious and I was on verge of tears. Maybe people may think I can sort this out, I am independent but in times like this, I need assurance and encouragement and all that I know was being let down by people, again and again. This moot is very important to me, and yet, being so insensitive here, it's like, sigh. Things would have be better if something more was done. I wouldn't be feeling so sucky right now with this total fucked up mood right now. I would have known, I would have been consoled, encouraged, appreciated, recognised and respected. All I know now is that I am alone, moping round a fallen battle, unseen and unknown.
Nobody likes the feeling of failure. I will be better and I will be mooting next year, definitely. I would be better and more prepared. This mooting journey had set me and my partner in a roller coaster ride of a near litigation experience, really, one heck of an experience. I grew and I learned in the process. I gained an experience like no one else, I do thank God for showing the way as always. Sue Ann, my moot partner for everything. Cai Lee, Mich, Pek Kwan, Henry for encouragement and advices, and listening to me rant. Fellow mooting teams for everything. Some people here and there for help and support. I have realised one thing that, in anything I do, I have to give in my best and regardless the results, I would be glad because the journey was a fulfilling one. For now, I can concentrate back on my studies again and yes, I'm so gonna do this again.
Sunday, November 15, 2009
Sunday SPS and Shopping
I always wonder why they have classes on Sundays because it is obvious that no one wants to attend but anyway I attended, late for an hour and flustered from top to toe, still in yesterday night's sleep top and hair tied with a pasar rubber band. Room 3MN was extremely cold and I ended up sleeping behind there with a pile of tissues stuck in my nostrils. Those minutes where I was awake was spent playing Pac Man on my Iphone.
Random picture taken from my seat at the back during Common Law. Was kinda pilot test for my Iphone's camera.
Then I'm off to Times Square after lunch to meet with Xuan dear. She came back from Sarawak for her sem break.
Me, IPhone baby, Xuan dear.
And we ate like nobody's business.
First at Room Eighteen.
Xuan with Sai Mai Lou whatever la.
Me with xut shan fei wu.
Yay!
Second destination. Sweet Chat.
Smiles =)
Another one with smiles =)
Food makes us smile hahahahaha!
Xuan dear gave me kek lapis, some kinda local food from Sarawak. Niceeeee! I am extremely happy for the fact now everyone who I love dearly is back in KL and it only means: PARTY!! Twins are already back as well as Zi Qin and most of Maxwell dudes. Life has just gone better, for me at least. =)
Nyah~
Random picture taken from my seat at the back during Common Law. Was kinda pilot test for my Iphone's camera.
Then I'm off to Times Square after lunch to meet with Xuan dear. She came back from Sarawak for her sem break.
Me, IPhone baby, Xuan dear.
And we ate like nobody's business.
First at Room Eighteen.
Xuan with Sai Mai Lou whatever la.
Me with xut shan fei wu.
Yay!
Second destination. Sweet Chat.
Smiles =)
Another one with smiles =)
Food makes us smile hahahahaha!
Xuan dear gave me kek lapis, some kinda local food from Sarawak. Niceeeee! I am extremely happy for the fact now everyone who I love dearly is back in KL and it only means: PARTY!! Twins are already back as well as Zi Qin and most of Maxwell dudes. Life has just gone better, for me at least. =)
Nyah~
Saturday, November 14, 2009
New Baby
Introducing Iphone 3GS 32GB White.
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The one next to mine is Daniel's which he took this picture in college's library very beria-ia-ly and yeah yeah credits goes to you, I know you will be reading this.
Had a bit of drama for the apps stuff but all is okay now. Well sigh, some unresolved issues still remains. Oh well. Financial prudence.
.jpg)
The one next to mine is Daniel's which he took this picture in college's library very beria-ia-ly and yeah yeah credits goes to you, I know you will be reading this.
Had a bit of drama for the apps stuff but all is okay now. Well sigh, some unresolved issues still remains. Oh well. Financial prudence.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
The Hate Post
I AM TELLING THIS STRAIGHT TO YOUR FREAKING FACE:
IF YOU ARE NOT IN THE MOOTING TEAM, STOP ACTING AS IF YOU KNOW US WELL! WE WON NOT BECAUSE OUR OPPOSING TEAM IS WEAK! WE PUT IN EFFORT AND JUST FUCK OFF AND SHUT UP IF YOU DIDN'T SEE ANY!
I get freaking pissed when people are like 'ooh ooh you guys won the moot. Who were you against? Inter July is it? No wonder la can win.'
EH, IF YOU'RE MOTHERFUCKA BLIND NOT TO SEE US WIN BY EFFORT, MIGHT WELL AS YOU GO FUCK THE WALL AND SHUT UP BECAUSE IT'S SO UNREASONABLE TO SAY WE WON BECAUSE THEY WERE FROM ANOTHER INTAKE?
Please lar...Your brains have balls is it?
Inter July people are not THAT poor as you think they are. Just that you're from another intake or year means that you're better than they are? If they put in more effort they stand a chance to succeed more than you ding dongs who sit there and watch as if you knew the world.
AND MIND YOU, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE THE BALLS TO ENTER THE MOOT COMPETITION. SO STOP STANDING THERE AND JUSTIFYING EVERYONE OUT OF YOUR OWN JUDGMENT!
YOU'RE NOT WORTHY TO!
WE WON FAIR AND SQUARE BECAUSE WE PUT IN EFFORT AND WE DID IT. STRAIGHT ON YOUR FREAKING FACE. ASTONISHED?
It is not that if you're born with talents and you can get anything you want. Success comes after effort and hard work. If you're smart but you're lazy, that's it. You still fail in the end. People who are average, never mind. Others do it once, you double the work. You work harder. in the end you reap success. It's justified.
SO I DON'T GIVE A DAMN IF YOU TELL ME HOW 'GREAT' YOU ARE. TO ME, YOU'RE BUT NOTHING. UNWORTHY TO JUDGE ME. AND PLEASE, YOU'RE NOT THE BEST. STOP TELLING ME TO WORSHIP YOUR FACE BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE VOMITING.
All the best for the semis. Darn pissed off right now.
IF YOU ARE NOT IN THE MOOTING TEAM, STOP ACTING AS IF YOU KNOW US WELL! WE WON NOT BECAUSE OUR OPPOSING TEAM IS WEAK! WE PUT IN EFFORT AND JUST FUCK OFF AND SHUT UP IF YOU DIDN'T SEE ANY!
I get freaking pissed when people are like 'ooh ooh you guys won the moot. Who were you against? Inter July is it? No wonder la can win.'
EH, IF YOU'RE MOTHERFUCKA BLIND NOT TO SEE US WIN BY EFFORT, MIGHT WELL AS YOU GO FUCK THE WALL AND SHUT UP BECAUSE IT'S SO UNREASONABLE TO SAY WE WON BECAUSE THEY WERE FROM ANOTHER INTAKE?
Please lar...Your brains have balls is it?
Inter July people are not THAT poor as you think they are. Just that you're from another intake or year means that you're better than they are? If they put in more effort they stand a chance to succeed more than you ding dongs who sit there and watch as if you knew the world.
AND MIND YOU, YOU DON'T EVEN HAVE THE BALLS TO ENTER THE MOOT COMPETITION. SO STOP STANDING THERE AND JUSTIFYING EVERYONE OUT OF YOUR OWN JUDGMENT!
YOU'RE NOT WORTHY TO!
WE WON FAIR AND SQUARE BECAUSE WE PUT IN EFFORT AND WE DID IT. STRAIGHT ON YOUR FREAKING FACE. ASTONISHED?
It is not that if you're born with talents and you can get anything you want. Success comes after effort and hard work. If you're smart but you're lazy, that's it. You still fail in the end. People who are average, never mind. Others do it once, you double the work. You work harder. in the end you reap success. It's justified.
SO I DON'T GIVE A DAMN IF YOU TELL ME HOW 'GREAT' YOU ARE. TO ME, YOU'RE BUT NOTHING. UNWORTHY TO JUDGE ME. AND PLEASE, YOU'RE NOT THE BEST. STOP TELLING ME TO WORSHIP YOUR FACE BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE VOMITING.
All the best for the semis. Darn pissed off right now.
Monday, November 9, 2009
I Am Human
I knew it was wrong, but I went on and do it.
And now I've already did it.
There is no turning back at this point.
But would you, would you ever.
Forgive me because I am human?
Can you forgive me if I fault in the run of life.
Reason being I am human?
And now I've already did it.
There is no turning back at this point.
But would you, would you ever.
Forgive me because I am human?
Can you forgive me if I fault in the run of life.
Reason being I am human?
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Weekend Project
Of all my sleeveless tops, I decided to organise them in a better way. Hence from this:
.
.
.
.
.
becomes
.
.
.
.
.
This.
nice ^^ me love. I rolled them all up and stuck them nicely into a shoe box. Someone told me look like panties =='' but nyah nyah~ I like la.
.
.
.
.
.
becomes
.
.
.
.
.
This.
nice ^^ me love. I rolled them all up and stuck them nicely into a shoe box. Someone told me look like panties =='' but nyah nyah~ I like la.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
19th Annual Tun Hamid Omar Moot Court Competition
After all the drams behind the moot court competition, the results for preliminary rounds were announced after our last round of mooting session this morning. The first round against Edwin and Cheng Yee went haywire a bit because Sue Ann and I were super uber unprepared and we went panicked. Hence we lost the first round. I admit I was a little upset seeing our effort was kinda wasted because of panic. However we buckled up on our second round and we won the case and the moot as well. The best thing was we were qualified to the semi finals, which was quite unexpected. I was very happy because it definitely means our effort was well paid and acknowledged. We did put lots of effort behind this moot competition, as well as sacrificing much. When I knew for the fact our moot journey is not ending at this stage, my heart takes a little flip, appreciative that I had been given more chances of improving myself. =)
Sue Ann the my moot partner. Senior counsel for the appellant. She got the best speaker during our second round of mooting.
Besties who mooted. =) Those who lend me a place to sleep and took care of me when I got hung over. Thanks buddies. Love you guys.
Inter Mar/April dudes who mooted.
The girls.
With the respondents in the second round.
Actually during the first round the judge was pretty lenient. Just that we freaked out a bit cause we did not properly cite our authorities. The second round, the judge shot us with questions and I was like what the... It was quite pressuring to answer them and I was tembaking most of the time. Well, everything has came to an end, but we still have our semi finals on the 21st. So till then, all the best to us. Praying hard we will get to the finals. =)
Sue Ann the my moot partner. Senior counsel for the appellant. She got the best speaker during our second round of mooting.
Besties who mooted. =) Those who lend me a place to sleep and took care of me when I got hung over. Thanks buddies. Love you guys.
Inter Mar/April dudes who mooted.
The girls.
With the respondents in the second round.
Actually during the first round the judge was pretty lenient. Just that we freaked out a bit cause we did not properly cite our authorities. The second round, the judge shot us with questions and I was like what the... It was quite pressuring to answer them and I was tembaking most of the time. Well, everything has came to an end, but we still have our semi finals on the 21st. So till then, all the best to us. Praying hard we will get to the finals. =)
Sunday, November 1, 2009
Stressed Out
It has been so long since I had not been waking up with a reluctant mood after being interrupted by my alarm clock. Last week was hectic. I went to college everyday to prepare myself for the moot court competition and find myself sinking into deeper modes of mixed panic and frustration. Things never got better when competition is next Wednesday and I had tantamount stuff unprepared, with Sue Ann my partner stressing as well, with normal classes proceedings to get along with, ie assignments, time tests, revision. Even when I tried to relax I can't because I have this heavy burden in my stomach which refused to shift. Sigh.
Back to the fact I woke up at one today. Mum was furious and screamed (literally) about me having too much sleep. CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT THE FUCK SHE IS SAYING? That's it. I am PISSED OFF. Nobody gave a freaking damn when I cracked my brains trying to figure out what to say, and obviously nobody saw my effort. And of course nobody knew I woke up abruptly during nights where the thought of loosing struck me, being unable to sleep even when I was tired. I admit I suck in managing stress. I do and it sucked. And speaking of ME I am juggling between work, school and this additional competition. Not to mention it's exams month now meaning my student's problems are my problems. They want extra classes I have to comply. Geeeezzz...And having PMS now plus the fact of loosing my phone exactly like right now isn't helping at all. I had already not exercised for two weeks in a row.
Nobody can actually feel what I am feeling right now. So don't assume I am having a great time hanging out in college with my friends because in fact I am having a massive head spin with ATC's stupid air cond which freezes people to death, facing papers and books and computers trying to figure out what we have to say and what our opponents are going to say.
In short I am stressed to the max. And I am currently broke. GREAT DEAL.
Motivate me.
Keep me sane, Lord.
Back to the fact I woke up at one today. Mum was furious and screamed (literally) about me having too much sleep. CAN YOU BELIEVE WHAT THE FUCK SHE IS SAYING? That's it. I am PISSED OFF. Nobody gave a freaking damn when I cracked my brains trying to figure out what to say, and obviously nobody saw my effort. And of course nobody knew I woke up abruptly during nights where the thought of loosing struck me, being unable to sleep even when I was tired. I admit I suck in managing stress. I do and it sucked. And speaking of ME I am juggling between work, school and this additional competition. Not to mention it's exams month now meaning my student's problems are my problems. They want extra classes I have to comply. Geeeezzz...And having PMS now plus the fact of loosing my phone exactly like right now isn't helping at all. I had already not exercised for two weeks in a row.
Nobody can actually feel what I am feeling right now. So don't assume I am having a great time hanging out in college with my friends because in fact I am having a massive head spin with ATC's stupid air cond which freezes people to death, facing papers and books and computers trying to figure out what we have to say and what our opponents are going to say.
In short I am stressed to the max. And I am currently broke. GREAT DEAL.
Motivate me.
Keep me sane, Lord.
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