I acknowledge the fact life is almost a fiction to me. Behind slurry words writing the passage of routine winding story that makes sure everything is in order, some things just can't meant to be arranged for me. Dramas happened as if I were homecoming queen, but the very irony I am a super ordinary girl from a lame place with little dreams, which got a bit ambitious because people influence each other and culture shapes personality and provoke views.
I was assured that making a choice to just benefit myself is almost a sin, oh let there be barriers in dreaming big because I am not allowed by some people around me who fear risks. I had always begged to differ, and I believe I did. To choose very differently without minding all the judgment is a challenge. I would not let my best interests to be affected by anyone. Nothing shall go in way of ambition.
Yet today I am faced with two paths diverged, to give way to admiration, sacrificing what I deserve in someone else, or to be blessed in something simple yet genuine, but to let go of everything I desire. To fame in respect or to indulge in self righteousness. That day God told me to persevere and I shall reap my blessings. I trust God with all my heart, but to claim myself the blessing, am I worthy because afterall, I am another damned sinner, ruthless and selfish, proclaiming wisdom and pleasures like hunger stricken.
This is the confessions of a very realistic girl who had gave up on believing patience is the key. The more you wait the more disappointment you get. All that happens now is a matter of running and grasping the best that comes by. If that is an opportunity you shall benefit, if not then take it as an experience and hitch up. The run of life is too short to wait and I just believe that there is something I can live without anyway, and guess what it is? Do the thinking.