How Far Would You Go To Protect A Secret?

But it was too terrible for that. When I tried to understand it, I had the feeling I was failing to condemn it as it must be condemned. When I condemned it as it must be condemned, there was no room for understanding ... I wanted to pose myself both tasks — understanding and condemnation. But it was impossible to do both.

~The Reader, Bernhard Schlink.

*

Disclaimer: The above quote has got absolutely nothing to do with what you're going to read afterwards, nor do the title does, okay?

So to say, things got a little off track these days which explains the relatively emo-ly posts nowadays. As much as I do want all nasty stuff to go away but it's normal that all these stuff takes time. Where thank heavens I'm still enjoying my going-to-end-soon break so that my head won't go off in this period of emotionally unstable times. Okay, screw it, whatever.

So following the crowd, everyone does their reflection of the old year and resolute for the new, and yours truly, though three days late, am gonna do so. 2009 is one heck of a year, started with a teaching job, found out that I actually liked it quite well. March marked the start of college life, which stemmed from a one handed decision to do law after so many years in the sciences. Never regretted though. July was tough as parting took place with the closest of friends, friends since childhood. August marked a page turning landmark in my life. Personal faith issues. November came another. A blink of an eye 2010 came, poof, where were you when time decided to move in pace?

2009 brought life defining moments, moments I live for to witness. First off is time spent with family. Above all I appreciate the fact that I'm still living with them and distance never have to be an issue, compared with those friends over on campus, missing home every night. Have to say I'm one heck of a blessed kid, ain't. Secondly, knew that friends come by choice. It's either being influenced, or be the influence. (Special thanks to kor) And I thank God much for opening my eyes to see who are worth standing by for, and well, those who don't which friendship I chose to abandon. Most importantly, 2009 is where I learn about living a principled life, abiding my faith based principles in anything I do. Of course, I do make mistakes but hey, we learn and make sure we don't repeat them. Downside of the year, I carried a weight of responsibility for a move which I made, where until today, I don't know whether it's right or wrong. Which brings me to my 2010 resolution:

To be truthful and respectable.

Which is very the irony because truthful people don't lie.

Okay, this is random haha.

Back to topic, I'm going to try to make my stands clear and stable so that no one can ever shake my foundations. I'm not going around trying to please everyone, because if you're true, you don't please people all the time. I've got to make choices which serves my consciences. Make sacrifices not to fulfill hunger and lust for temptations, resist all earthly and material ones. Everything that ties me back to my mission statement of the year. Be true. Be respected. Yay! God knows how much can I change for the better, but I keep my faith strong. I can do this if I want to. =)

PS: New year-kinda felt it's not the kind of craziness experience can fulfill much everything. Sometimes, it's how warm you can feel when you watch distant fireworks as you know the year is passing with people you love around you, sharing the kind of warmth you feel in their own context and in their own silence. Really.