Tuesday, January 5, 2010

The Ugly Truth

Apologies for the lack of happenings nowadays. I'm a boring dude so I hang around at home, half geek, half nerd. Sue me or *toot* off. Be my guest.

PS: I deleted so many entries. Because I'm so hating this and I'm trying to vent out whatever bullcrap I have in mind with a twisted manner so that it won't hurt any parties, and most importantly, it won't hurt my reputation. But screw it whatever. I'm just gonna say that:

I'M FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING HATING THIS MAD, INSANE, LOUSY DAMN HELL OF A WORLD!
AND WHAT'S THE FUCKING PROBLEM WITH EVERYONE AROUND ME WHO ACT AS IF THEY CARE BUT ACTUALLY THEY JUST CARE ABOUT THEMSELVES AND THE PEOPLE THEY LITERALLY FUCK IN THEIR LIVES?


I'm so gonna repent for using so many vulgar words at once.

When I complain, it's not that I want a solution, so quit telling me to confront that person and solve the matter in his/her face, because it won't work. It merely makes matters worse. Respect is another element of importance in friendship, besides just trust. Everyone has a different situation, a different attitude, a different approach. So unifying all the solutions and make them into one so called best way is foolish. I complain for a sole reason: to seek an audience. To just simply listen. It's just so freaking simple but everyone is like going around, saying, well, tell her in her face, not to us, which pisses me off because why you're offering me a solution when I did not ask you for one? I just need a bloody damn ear to listen. Be a damn good hell of a shoulder for me to lean and cry on is all I ask for. And when I tell, I get misinterpreted, judged for my choice. Which is totally wtf.

I'm not angry nor do I hold any grudges. I'm just desperate, frustrated, and tired. I just hope that people who I love would understand better, at least, show concern so that I won't feel so alone. Sigh. I had a bad day, that's it. Tomorrow will be a better one I hope.

PS: Blogging is so good. When men fail, He never. Blogging is one way to seek refuge, to heal aching wounds and cry with scorching tears when in pain. When I blog, after people fail to listen and understand me, I know I can submerge in the world of my own words and I know He reads my feelings and heals me in time. It's like writing a letter to Him and extending my prayers in another context. Though not so personal, but I know I'm touched.

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